


36 Questions

by thelivingcontradiction



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: 36 questions to fall in love, Fluff, M/M, a bunch of little snippets, but mostly obikin, obianidala at the very end if all goes to plan, when you're bored and surf the holonet for quizzes to take with your old master
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2018-12-13 14:06:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 24,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11761503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelivingcontradiction/pseuds/thelivingcontradiction
Summary: In a study by psychologist Arthur Aron, they found that strangers would fall in love when asked to answer 36 questions together.There are 3 sets of 12 questions and each set gets increasingly personal. The goal is to create mutual vulnerability that fosters a relationship between the strangers.What if Obi-Wan and Anakin found this quiz while scrolling through the depths of the holonet? What if they scoff and say, I bet we could answer these and not be affected? We aren't strangers, they say.But I think you'll find that they have a lot to learn about each other. And maybe a little love to give.





	1. A Dinner Guest

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everybody! I started this set of ficlets a while back, but I'd like to post the few that I have so far in order to motivate me to finish all 36 questions!
> 
> Are you ready?
> 
> I've seen someone in the Dan & Phil fandom do this idea, way back in 2014 I think? I thought it was a really unique and cute idea to put the characters in a situation where they answer these questions with each other. Recently, I thought, "Hey, what would happen if Obi-Wan and Anakin were put through this quiz? Mutual vulnerability is exactly what they needed." And this is what resulted from that.
> 
> If you'd like to put this psychology study to the test, you can find the questions I'm using [here](https://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html). I've made slight changes to fit the canon universe a bit better, but overall the concept is the same! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

**Given the choice of anyone in the galaxy, whom would you want as a dinner guest?**

     Anakin pretended like his mind didn’t immediately jump to a certain Senator from Naboo. Instead, he brought clasped hands to the edge of his lips and pondered who could replace her in this situation; anyone that Obi-Wan would accept as an appropriate answer. The man knew almost as much about him as Padme.

     “Bail Organa,” he heard Obi-Wan answer. “We don’t get to have dinner often due to the drawn-out war we’ve trapped ourselves in.” Anakin had felt the bitterness before Obi-Wan had finished his sentence. His lips gave a sympathetic twitch.      

     “And he makes an exquisite lek’ti gazpacho that I could eat for the rest of my days,” the man continued, a wistful smile on his face. Obi-Wan blinked and returned his gaze to Anakin. “I apologize for making this so heavy. We’re only on the first question.”

     Anakin didn’t make a move to answer the question and Obi-Wan quirked an eyebrow, although he didn’t prod. He took a deep breath.

     “Senator Amidala.”

     “I’m beginning to think we’re being brainwashed by those senators,” Obi-Wan let out a rare laugh and Anakin’s shoulders loosened. “I can’t say I wasn’t expecting that answer.”

     And he was stiff again.

     “What do you mean?”

     “We had an enjoyable dinner last time we were all together, before our mission on Lanteeb. I assumed you were remembering that time,” Obi-Wan didn’t feel as if he was teasing him when Anakin reached out to test their bond. Anakin had a moment of confusion where he realized that Obi-Wan may have not found out about his relationship with Padme. “You two have built up quite the rapport after your trip with her to Naboo, Tatooine, AND Geonosis.”

     There is was. Obi-Wan was holding back a grin.

     “She’s a friend, Obi-Wan.”

     “As is Satine,” he parried. “That’s all they can be.”

     “Let’s just move on.”

      _So much for vulnerability._


	2. Being Famous

**Would you like to be famous? In what way?**

  
     “An irrelevant question,” Anakin scoffed, swiping his finger across the datapad to look at the next question. “We’re already famous.”

     “True,” Obi-Wan agreed. He took a sip of his drink and hummed softly. “But if you had been given the choice, would you have wanted to be known for something else than a war hero?”

     “Anything!” Anakin blurted before he could stop himself. He blinked quickly, staring down at the datapad. “I mean, it’s nice to be known for being a Jedi that helps save people, but-” he struggled with the truth that echoed in his mind. “-they call me the Hero with No Fear. And that’s not true at all.”  
  
     Obi-Wan slid across the sofa and Anakin heard the tinkle of the melting ice in his master’s glass. Obi-Wan set the hand holding his sweating glass on his right knee, stroking his beard. “I can’t say they’re too far off with ‘The Negotiator’. Although I’m not nearly as successful as they portray me to be.”

     “Exactly. The Republic paints this exaggerated picture of who we are. The public doesn’t understand that being a Jedi is not about having no fear, but being able to acknowledge it and know that it doesn’t control you.”

     Obi-Wan was staring at him with a pleased expression on his face.

     “I occasionally listen to the principles of the Jedi Order, despite what you think,” Anakin’s voice was punctuated with a bite that often crept into his tone when Obi-Wan gave him that face. “I can still hear Yoda saying that he senses fear in me, even though I’d just been taken away from everything.”

     He was being vulnerable again. Against his better judgement.

     “You have always struggled with fear. Not the same fears as others, I might add,” and Obi-Wan was still smiling. The man wasn’t going to let him wallow apparently. “Instead of operating vehicles at a reasonable speed, you seem to have lost that healthy dose of fear for your own safety while driving.”

     “You’re just an old man,” Anakin huffed and let Obi-Wan’s calm demeanor envelop him. “Who doesn’t love a couple spins on their way to lower levels?”

     They relax into a moment of silence.

     “I think I’d prefer if I wasn’t famous at all.”

     This man, his former master, had no idea just how spectacular he could be. It was a kriffing shame, if Anakin was being honest. Obi-Wan was a swordsman to admire, a man of unmatched wit, and the only one brave enough to share an apartment with the Chosen One with the knowledge of Anakin’s untidy habit of leaving droid parts and dirty underwear all over the floor.

     “I think I enjoy that everyone knows how cool my master is,” Anakin’s voice was warmer as he let go of the weakness he had displayed. “Even if they don’t know how much of a dork you are.”

     “If you’re referring to the sample of Grefsaq luminescent protozoans I received in the mail today, then yes, I am quite the ‘dork.’”

     “Did you even listen to what you just said?” Anakin laughed. “Next question.”


	3. Making a Comm Call

**Before making a comm call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?**

     “Of cours-”

     “Psh, no wa-”

     They answer at the same time.

     “Don’t you at least run it through your head a few times before you report to the Council?” Obi-Wan questioned, a real spark of curiosity in his eyes.

     “Nope. I wing it.”

     Obi-Wan just nods.

     “What did you expect?”

     “I’m not sure. Sometimes when you’re telling complicated half-truths to them, I’m impressed. And now that I know you’re not thinking about it at all, it makes me even more surprised that you’ve pulled this off for so long,” Obi-Wan confessed. “I guess you get a lot of practice when you’re always disobeying orders.”

     “Like you aren’t always doing the same crazy shit.”

     Obi-Wan threw back his head and swallowed the rest of the watered down Corellian brandy he’d poured earlier in the evening.

     “New drink?” Anakin offered an open hand to take his glass.

     “I wouldn’t mind something a little less bitter,” he pondered. “Nothing too strong though. I don’t intend to use the Force for such unnecessary things as purging my body of alcohol.”

     “Suit yourself.” Anakin poured himself a tall glass of blue milk, leaving room for a sugary sweet addition of something one of Ahsoka’s friends had brewed while out in the Mid Rim. “What’s the next question?”


	4. The Perfect Day

**What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?**

     Anakin handed him a purple tinted beverage in a wide-rimmed glass and Obi-Wan could smell the familiar berries. His favorite. It earned Anakin a smile that reached Obi-Wan’s eyes when he gave it. Even if they weren’t going to “fall in love” like two strangers would when doing this experiment, Obi-Wan had to admit that it was reminding him of the many reasons why he enjoyed Anakin’s company.

     “A night like this wouldn’t be so bad,” he felt himself say as he looked at the darkened living area. The sparse lighting of their Jedi-issued quarters left them in a softened version of the reality they knew in the daytime. From Obi-Wan’s seat on one side of the sofa, he could almost imagine that they did this every evening.

     “I agree.”

     “Some early morning meditation.”

     “You lost me.”

     “Maybe a nice cup of tea.”

     “Still lost.”

     “Anakin, no one ever said we had to agree on a perfect day,” he said. “No meditation for you?”

     “You know how much I hate it.” Anakin was rubbing the back of his head. The man was ashamed of his inability to stay in a meditative state long enough for it to soothe the wounds he carried in his heart. Obi-Wan knew this. They had talked about it when he was younger; still a Padawan. Things had not changed that much in that regard.

     “We should try to do it together some time.” Obi-Wan rested his hand on Anakin’s shoulder gently and gave it a squeeze as he let some of his sympathy flow between them. “I could try to take away some of whatever makes it ‘burn’ so much.”

     “It’s only gotten worse since you stopped forcing me to do it with you. It’s been two years.”

     Obi-Wan felt his heart clench. Anakin consistently walked the line between control and overstimulation. It wasn’t safe for him to hold all of his emotions inside without releasing himself to the healing anonymity of the Force. The point of meditation was to become one with the environment, to separate oneself from the emotions and struggles of being a sentient life form for long enough to sort through things.

      “Every morning then. We’ll ease you back into it.”

     Anakin looked apprehensive, and although it wasn’t new when it came to mediation, he could see a new flicker of fear in the young man’s eyes.

     “You should have told me you couldn’t do it alone, Anakin.”

     “Of course you’d make it like that.” The air became charged as though he’d set off a droid popper.

     “I’m trying to help.”

     “Or you’re trying to lecture me. And I’m not your Padawan anymore.”

     Obi-Wan could feel his face twisting into one that barely held back the pain that Anakin’s knife was causing as he forced it in between Obi-Wan’s ribs. The knife was only words, but it left him without air. When would he understand? When would he know how hard Obi-Wan had tried to make it known that he was only trying to support Anakin as a friend and a fellow Jedi? Their previous arrangement left vestiges of mistrust.

     Anakin’s forgotten blue milk was suddenly remembered and Obi-Wan watched as he downed half the glass in an attempt to swallow the feelings that were caught in his throat.

     “You are not my Padawan anymore. I know that-”

     “Doesn’t seem like it.”

     “Anakin, let me finish.”

     They stared at each other; a standoff.

     “I’m asking you as a friend.”

     And Anakin didn’t answer that one.

     “You’d probably have some sparring matches built into your perfect day, I’m sure. Maybe a ride across the grasslands of Uzu on one of those rigged death machines you used to pilot?” Obi-Wan pointed with the hand that held his drink.

     “Yeah, I would.” Anakin was still humming with tension but it was a start.


	5. The Last Time You Sang

**When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?**

     The first raindrops of an impending storm smeared down the broad windows of the two Jedi’s apartment. They left trails that reflected the lights of Coruscant’s endless skyline, beginning to blur the view from the inside as more joined the ranks. Anakin was using the rain as an excuse to look away from Obi-Wan. He was buying more time. These questions were a nuisance in that they made his eyes want to mimic the clouds.

     “I don’t think I’ve sang at all since I left Tatooine.”

     Anakin couldn’t stop the visions of his mother from filling his mind; her gentle voice weathered by years of working amongst the dust and smoke of Mos Espa. When the sandstorms would rage for days, it would start with a twitch; a finger or an eyelid that wouldn’t rest. Next, his heart beating as if it wanted to escape his chest. Trying to busy himself with pointless tinkering on busted old droid parts was useless. He ended up throwing them aside after only a few minutes, the noise in his head too loud for him to focus.  
     His mother would find him, alone in his room with tears streaming down his face, fingers digging into the skin of his arms.  
     “What’s wrong, Ani?” She would coo, but he would never reply. He had tried once to explain how it felt as if the sandstorm was inside him. He could feel each grain of sand eating away at their home, eating away at the very town itself. The winds were tearing through his very being, but he was only six and had no way of telling anyone how it felt to be open, always open to the way the planet whirled and hissed.  
     So she would sing. She would sing to him until she ran out of words. And even then, she would hum. If he had been himself, he would have told her how wonderful her renditions of cantina music were, but Anakin had feared that if he opened his mouth, only screams would come out.  
     Eventually, he learned how to shield his mind from the constant barrage of sounds and feelings. When he arrived at the Temple, his primitive shields had served him well. Most of the younglings were taught to shield from an early age in order to avoid being overwhelmed by the Force. When Anakin had arrived, he had felt the pressure against his mind from all sides. It was akin to a sandstorm in that way. In his younger days, it had made him happy that he had wrangled the Force on his own in such a variety of ways. Not only to pilot a pod-racer, but to protect himself.

     But shields couldn’t protect him from the bond he’d formed with his master.  
     Which was currently being used to tug him back to reality.

     “Anakin, are you alright?” Obi-Wan’s hand was resting on his arm, a warm weight that slowly anchored him back to the sofa he was sitting on. “I didn’t mean to bring up something you’d rather not talk about. We can skip this one if you want.”

     “I thought I was supposed to be free of attachments, Master.” Anakin was still avoiding Obi-Wan’s gaze. It was still difficult to keep his heart from wrenching when he thought about his mother. And the way he was supposed to cast aside her memory coated everything he thought with bitterness for the Order.

     “As am I.” And Anakin thought he was going to end it there, but- “But I should have severed our training bond long ago and yet I’m unable to imagine living without it, so I guess we all have things we are incapable of letting go.”

     Anakin let out a shaky breath that carried with it a sound halfway between a laugh and a sob. His eyes were blurry with tears that shouldn’t fall; he was a Jedi Knight after all.

     “I’m sorry, Anakin. You will never know how much I wished I would have understood the truth behind your dreams. I had never experienced a vision like that- prophetic dreams I didn’t even know were possible,” Obi-Wan trailed off.

     “It’s okay. I mean, it will never be okay that she's gone but you weren't the one that took her from me, so it’s fine-I mean,” he paused to inhale roughly. “It’s fine.”

     Obi-Wan’s hand was still firm on his arm and Anakin could feel his gaze burning his skin as he looked out the rain-covered transparisteel. The storm was rolling in. The clouds swallowed the tops of the buildings and Anakin could feel it threatening to engulf him as well. They would always try, even though he’d proven himself.

     “I can answer the question for you,” Anakin blurted.

     “I beg your pardon?”

     “The last time you sang to yourself. Yesterday morning. You were in the shower, singing that song we heard Rex playing over the hangar speakers while he was touching up the LAAT/i repulsor lift motors.”

     Obi-Wan didn’t react.

     “You didn’t know I was here, so you were singing at the top of your lungs.” Anakin laughed despite the lingering pain in his chest. “And it wasn’t that bad.” He turned his head back to look at Obi-Wan, but deflected his eyes down to the hand on his arm instead.  
     “And the last time you sang to someone else-” He didn’t know if he should mention it. “-it was me, wasn’t it?”

     Their eyes met; blue on blue, like paint mixing on a palette. Anakin could feel the way Obi-Wan's light in the Force burnt brighter against his will. He also felt the man’s hand draw away but it didn’t bother him. He already knew the truth.

     “You were sick, if I’m remembering the same incidence,” Obi-Wan finally spoke. “Corellian fever.”

     “I don’t remember much from the moment we landed back on Coruscant. It got really fuzzy.”

     “Rex and I had to carry you to the Hall of Healing so we could make sure you weren’t suffering from some blaster wound you’d kept secret,” Obi-Wan huffed and stroked his beard. “And they said you’d be fine as long as you kept drinking water and eating those liquified rations, which you were. Until the middle of the fourth day.”

     Anakin raised an eyebrow.

     “You don’t remember this part?”

     He shook his head.

      “You were screaming in your sleep, for your mother, for-” Obi-Wan blinked quickly, looking down to his now clasped hands. “-for me. And I didn’t know why.”

     Anakin didn’t remember dreaming about anything in particular. It had been painful, but the memory felt like it was wrapped in cotton, muffled and polluted with tendrils of irrelevant images.

     “So I came into your room to check on you. It was very much like when you were nine, when you came here with us to the Temple and you had those night terrors. You were crying. And I was worried that your fever had gotten too high.”

     “Had it?”

     “No, no. I mean, you were feverish sure, but nothing unexpected. But something was so wrong. And even though I was right next to you, you weren’t responding.” Obi-Wan’s voice was cracking slightly as he recalled that night. He stared into Anakin’s eyes but maintained the space between them. “I tried everything, but you wouldn’t wake up. So I sang to you. I sang anything that came to mind, even if I couldn’t remember the words. It was the only thing that calmed you down.”

It was Anakin’s turn to be embarrassed. “Master, I’m sorry to have woken you.”

     “Anakin, it’s fine.”

     Back to the silence. Anakin flicked a finger over the holopad lazily, ready to move onto the next question.

     “I still wonder why it worked. I mean, of all things.” Obi-Wan didn’t let the moment pass.

     Anakin’s eyes were getting misty again and he felt a seed of anger growing in his lungs. “My mother used to sing to me during storms. It was like mediation, Obi-Wan. It burned. Every time a sandstorm came through, my body felt like it was being eaten alive. And she’d sing and hold me until it finally passed.” His breath was coming in short bursts. “And it reminds me of her, when you do that.”

     Jedi didn’t cry.

     And Anakin didn’t feel like a Jedi.

     “You don’t sing the same songs, but-” He couldn’t do it. He was going to break. “You sound like her. Soft. Sweet.” A wistful smile quivered on his lips. “Slightly off-key and hanging on all of the low notes a little too long.”

     A single tear started making its journey down his cheek.

     Obi-Wan didn’t have to say anything. But his hand was back, giving Anakin’s wrist a squeeze and letting his thumb ghost over the soft skin of his arm.

     The drinks sat, discarded and growing warm.


	6. An Old Body or an Old Mind

**If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?**

     “Well this is more cheerful,” Obi-Wan chuckled. “And equally puzzling.”

     “I think I’d take the body of a 30-year-old. Think about it,” Anakin was still recovering, but at least the thoughts running through his head seemed to be cheering him up. “If Yoda still had the body of a 30-year-old-whatever-the-hell, he would be the best Jedi in the galaxy. Better than me, even.”

     “I never thought I’d hear you say something like that,” Obi-Wan was laughing now. “Your pride is not in check.”

     “Imagine having all of the wisdom of a person who had lived 90 years, but your actual body is still the same!”

     “This is more complicated, I think.” Obi-Wan was resting his chin on his hand, his elbow propped on his knee with his legs crossed and pulled up onto the sofa. “Do they mean even your brain when they say ‘your body’? Because if not, your mind would age with your brain and deteriorate. Human brains are not as resilient as Master Yoda’s.”

     “Definitely includes your brain.”

     “Then what would be the point of having an old body and a young mind at all? It doesn’t seem like a competition.” Obi-Wan was confused. Maybe it was the alcohol. He massaged his temple with one hand.

     Anakin patted the other hand, still on his wrist. “I think you’re screwed no matter what, Obi-Wan. Seems like your 30-year-old mind is croaking already.”

     “That’s not true in the slightest.” His reaction was more extreme than he would have liked.

     “Don’t hurt yourself, old man,” Anakin teased, levitating an unused woven coaster off the coffee table with the wave of his hand.

     “Oh please, Anakin. Don’t use the Force so flagrantly.”

      The entire sofa started to lift from the floor.

      It only gained Anakin a hovering blob of his remaining blue milk, poised over his head in a contained mass.

     “I will drop this on your head if you don’t put us down.”

     “You wouldn’t dare.”

      Obi-Wan snorted and let a drop land on Anakin’s nose.

     “Master Kenobi! This is not what I would call ‘necessity’.” Anakin imitated the creche masters and giggled, bringing their furniture back to the ground.

     His drink returned to its glass. Anakin swiped the drop off of his nose and wiped it on Obi-Wan’s hand. The man’s face twisted and Anakin wasn’t having any of it. “No, you take that back. I didn’t ask for a food fight.”

      A frosted baked good suddenly collided with his cheek.

     Oh, Force no. Anakin was not going to lose this fight.


	7. A Hunch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa! I'm back from the dead! 
> 
> Recently, I've been reading a lot of books instead of writing, since my free-time is limited. But in the middle of the night, I seem to have conjured up a few little ficlets for you guys. Take this as a peace offering. A snack, if you will. I may write more if time allows. 
> 
> We're almost to the end of the first set and things are already shaping up to enter some highly emotional grounds! I'm trying to keep it on the lighter side (hehe) with this first set since it's the least vulnerable section, but heck, everything is emotionally charged when you're Anakin Skywalker, so I failed a little.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

**Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?**

 

“Right now, I think _you’ll_ be the death of me.”

 

“Serves you right for challenging me to a duel, master.” Anakin was busying himself with a stubborn spot of orange cheese on the eyesore of a rug in their common area. “Who uses macaroni as a weapon anyway?”

 

A groan sounded from the other room.

 

“Doing all right in there, grandpa?”

 

Obi-Wan didn’t answer.

 

Anakin’s curiosity led him to the man’s bedroom, where he was met with the sight of Obi-Wan’s behind, the rest of him bent over to reach the underside of his desk. The top of it was covered in datapads and scraps of flimsiplast; a testament to Obi-Wan’s devotion to filling in paperwork after a long mission.

Another groan.

 

“How did this even get under here?” Obi-Wan threw a towel covered in brown crumbles and blue paste toward Anakin without warning.

 

Anakin laughed and tossed it into a bin for the cleaning droids to care for in the morning. “Hey, there are no rules in a duel of food. If I want to use the Force to make a...cake detonator, I can.” He had meant to be clever, but his current view was becoming quite the distraction.

 

He turned to leave, but felt a lingering question on his lips. “Master?”

 

Obi-Wan backed his way out from under the desk and stood up, face flushed from contorting around to reach the smears of cake left from their battle. “Yes, Anakin?”

 

“Do you ever actually think about it? When you’ll die?” He didn’t turn back to make eye contact, but instead made his way back to common room of their apartment. He felt in the Force rather than heard the sigh that escaped Obi-Wan’s lips as he followed him out of the bedroom.

 

“I can’t say that I have. Of course, there have been times I wasn’t expecting to relinquish myself to the jaws of death and nearly did,” he paused. Anakin finally turned to look at his old Master. The man had an eyebrow raised and upon meeting his gaze, a soft smile graced his face. “But if we’re to be completely honest with each other, I always expect that you’ll be at my side.”

 

Anakin felt his breath catch in his throat. Obi-Wan didn’t stick around to notice. He scoffed at the bits of food on his hands, giving Anakin’s upper arm a rough wipe before heading to the sink to properly clean himself. Maybe it was because he knew Anakin was still in thought that he knew he could get away with such an act without retaliation. It left the younger man with a smile tugging at his lips.

 

“What about you, my dear Padawan?” Obi-Wan settled onto one of the meditation cushions laid out by broad windows that faced the darkness of the Coruscanti twilight. He picked a stray piece of candy from his tunic and flicked it away. Anakin walked slowly toward him, fingers dragging on the edge of the sofa.

“Sometimes I think I've seen it. Other times, I don’t know. But I felt at peace, like nothing was weighing me down anymore.”

 

The concern that clouded Obi-Wan’s eyes made him want to take it all back. He didn’t want to burden his master with trivial visions. They were his to interpret and wrangle into submission.

 

“It must be a long time from now. I can’t imagine being so-” He stopped himself before he could admit something before he was ready. His eyes flickered reflexively to Obi-Wan, to see if the man had felt what he hadn’t said. But instead of accusation, he found understanding in those blue eyes.

 

“Best to focus on the present, wouldn’t you say?” The air was heavier now that the momentary joy of a food fight had passed. Anakin could only nod, then reached out to bring the datapad to him. There were questions left to answer.


	8. Three Things In Common

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you guys see any tense change stuff, I apologize. I try to read through these before I post, but my eyes can't catch every mistake. I'm writing two obikin stories, one in past tense and one in present tense, so sometimes my sentences will switch without my conscious knowledge. 
> 
> Other than that, enjoy another blurb from my midnight tangent of writing.

**Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.**

 

Obi-Wan couldn’t help but let out a chuckle at how simple it was to answer the question. “I practically raised you, Anakin. And we’re both Jedi. This is hardly a question for people who aren’t strangers. We should just skip this one.”

 

Anakin felt differently, from the way his hand lingered on the datapad, refusing to advance to the next question. Obi-Wan dipped his head, trying to ascertain what the young man was thinking.

 

“What if we tried to find three things that we don’t normally acknowledge?”

 

“I guess that would suffice.” His hand found its way to his chin and he stroked his beard as his mind ran through the various characteristics of Anakin Skywalker.

 

Anakin finally seated himself on the matching counterpart of Obi-Wan’s cushion. Unlike himself, Anakin crossed his legs and faced Obi-Wan instead of the window. It was slightly unsettling to have the man’s gaze resting heavily on him as he thought of his own answers. Obi-Wan took a deep breath and willed his mind to focus on the task instead of the position of men on cushions.

 

“We were both knighted too early.”

 

Anakin’s words hung in the room, as if he’d strung them up to decorate the room in sadness. Obi-Wan shook his head.

 

“I was hoping you wouldn’t say that. I’m trying to think of something happier.” He allowed himself an exasperated smile that he sent in Anakin’s direction. Anakin seemed to appreciate the lightness in his tone.

 

“Sorry, Master. It’s true though.”

 

Obi-Wan hummed in agreement. “We both know what it is like to carry the weight of the galaxy on our shoulders.”

 

Anakin’s fingers trailed across the outer edges of the datapad as he waited.

 

“We both hate sleeping with shirts on,” Obi-Wan tossed out the idea. “That’s a stupid one. Never mind-”

 

“No, I think it’s good!” Anakin interrupted, brushing Obi-Wan’s mind with whispers of acceptance. “I actually didn’t think about that.”

 

Obi-Wan’s cheeks flushed, but he ran a hand down his face to hide it. Stupid to notice a thing like that. It was just the little habits they picked up from each other throughout the years of living together.

 

“If it makes you feel better, I have another silly one,” Anakin offers. “We both use the same shampoo.”

 

Obi-Wan blinked at him. “Only because you always used to steal mine, so I request two bottles each time instead of one,” he huffed as if he bothered him, but the truth was that it amused him to think that a young padawan Anakin had thought so highly of his master that mimicking his morning routine down to the scent of soap was something he had felt was necessary.

“It’s only been-what, nine years that I’ve been stealing it? By now, I was certain you were used to it.” Anakin hummed with amusement and swiped to the next question. He didn't notice the way Obi-Wan’s fond gaze lingered on his face, softly illuminated by the glow of the datapad.


	9. Feeling Grateful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *screams*
> 
> This one was toying with me for awhile. I hope it's okay.

**For what in your life do you feel most grateful?**

 

It was another question that had probably been written to conjure up fond memories for each of two strangers, happy to share their favorite moments. Anakin felt his stomach turn. There were few things in his life that he felt truly grateful for, as most of his experiences and attachments were a double-edged blade. What he gained, he also lost.

 

He was grateful for Padmé; his adoring wife, so strong and intelligent. She was a force to be reckoned with, constantly sweeping him off his feet. But also, the memories were tinged with guilt of having to keep their relationship a secret. It hurt to hide things from the people he cared about. And it wore on them as well, Anakin clearly remembered.

 

“I think I’d have to say-” Obi-Wan paused. Anakin lost his own train of thought at the utterance. “As much as it pains me to say it, Qui-Gon betting the entire Nubian ship on a podrace.”

 

Anakin didn’t quite understand what he meant. Nor had he expected to hear of Qui-Gon in that manner.

 

Obi-Wan noticed the confusion in Anakin’s eyes and his face changed from one of levity to a more pensive state. “If he hadn’t been his usual independent, straggler-finding, idealistic self, he never would have taken a second glance at you. Force knows I berated him many times for delaying missions.” The man took a moment to shift his gaze to the floor. “In the end, I had no idea what I was promising to him. You were just a child, a dangerously powerful one at that.”

 

Anakin wasn’t sure why Obi-Wan had made his answer seem like a joke, when it was clearly laden with remorse. Still, he sat quietly and watched the way Obi-Wan’s fingers fiddled with the hem of the red cushion he sat on.

 

“I don’t think I would have become the Jedi I am today without you, Anakin. So as corny as it sounds, I think I’m most grateful for the opportunity to have you in my life.” Obi-Wan’s fingers stopped and his gaze returned to Anakin. The way his smile reached his eyes was a rare thing to observe, Anakin knew. His heart fluttered for a moment at the admission of such deep gratitude. “I’m playing right into this list’s hands, aren’t I?” Obi-Wan scoffed. “It’s the truth, nevertheless.”

 

Anakin found his answer insufficient in the wake of Obi-Wan’s honesty.

 

He had meant to say that he was grateful to be here, in the Jedi Temple, pursuing solutions to the war and bringing justice to those who fought to destroy the goodness in the galaxy. But his answer was flimsy at best, flaking away with each seed of doubt that planted in his mind after missions gone awry and men lost in hopeless battles. He couldn’t say that being a Jedi in itself was everything he had hoped it would be. He steeled himself and blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

 

“Sparring.”

 

He could see that Obi-Wan was suspending his disbelief in hopes that Anakin would explain. And Anakin was hoping that he would also explain himself. Why had he said that?

 

“I don’t know- I just-” Anakin sputtered over the words. “When we’re sparring together, I feel like we are truly equals. And we know each other’s moves before we make them, which makes it more of a challenge. I love the challenge. It’s fun to allow myself a chance to forget about the war and practice, just like old times. You know?” He blinked, hoping the explanation was making sense. “Yeah, I guess I really feel like we understand each other in those moments. So I’m grateful that we get to have them.”

 

Something dawned on Obi-Wan and Anakin felt a rush of embarrassment flood their bond.

 

“What?” He couldn’t stop himself from asking.

 

“I enjoy those moments too, that’s all. Our bond is unusually strong when we fight together.”

 

Maybe it hadn’t been such a bad answer after all. It seemed to have Obi-Wan flustered. Anakin slid the datapad across the floor. “Your turn to read some.”


	10. Changing One Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to update these little ficlets as I write them instead of waiting, since you guys are freaking insatiable!
> 
> I didn't expect this little series to be so popular, but heck! Who am I to stop you from enjoying something? Go for it!

**If you could change one thing about the way you were raised, what would you change?**

 

     Obi-Wan read the question, then shook his head. “They just keep getting more serious, don’t they?” He huffed, looking toward Anakin.

 

     “Oh I’m not going first, I’ll ruin this whole-” Anakin stumbled on a word to describe the mixture of playfulness and vulnerability in the air, gesturing between them. “Thing we’ve got going.”

 

     Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow but obliged, letting his smile turn into a smirk as he remembered his days as a youngling in the Jedi Temple. “Growing up in the Temple was generally wonderful. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. But there was a moment at the beginning of my training as Padawan, five months after being chosen by Qui-Gon, that set me behind on my path.” His mood darkened as he began to recall the details. He had never told this to anyone, a story forgotten in the back of his mind. “I was never the easiest youngling to train, but up until my days as a Padawan, I had been certain in my skills and confident in myself.”

     Anakin’s head tilted and Obi-Wan continued. “Qui-Gon and I were out on a simple mission, practicing our patrolling techniques in the crowds on the mid-levels of Coruscant. We had been instructed to watch for suspicious activity during the weekly market after several reports of theft in the area.” His eyes gazed out into the darkened skyline of the city’s uppermost levels, but he wasn’t seeing them. In his mind, he was there, walking the dirty streets as a gangly thirteen-year-old. He had worn his only cloak, still slightly too long in the arms and rough as the hood brushed his cheeks. Obi-Wan had been in charge of passing through the crowds, wrapping himself in the Force to obscure his form. “Everything went smoothly until the last hour of our patrol. I saw someone in ragged clothing tailing a woman and her child as they left the market.”

     Obi-Wan forgot his inhibitions slowly as the images took hold. “I trailed them, hoping he would eventually lose interest. They had only purchased some produce-I thought he’d find someone more wealthy to pickpocket. It was stupid of me. I should have commed Qui-Gon right after I starting following them.” The woman became aware she was being followed, he’d known by the way she drew her son closer to her, increased her pace as they headed toward a decrepit complex of apartments west of the marketplace.

     “He reached out to grab her shoulder and she pulled a small knife from the pocket of her coat. Her hands were shaking. I knew he’d take it from her if he had the chance, so I stepped out from behind the pile of discarded droid parts in the street and shouted at him.” Anakin’s brow was furrowed but he kept quiet. Obi-Wan felt the concern radiating from him and fought the urge to reach out and pat his knee. Everything was fine now; it had to be fine.

     “I didn’t draw my lightsaber. Qui-Gon always said it was best to subdue with words if possible, and in my naivety I thought I could. But I was wrong and found myself with a broken ankle and a concussion, lying in a pile of trash while I watched a family be robbed-” he paused on the last words, “and killed.”

     “Obi-Wan-” Anakin whispered. “It wasn’t your fault. You were only thirteen, you tried your best.”

     His face was red with shame. “No, Anakin. It was my fault. I hadn’t commed Qui-Gon, I hadn’t responded with the proper amount of force to someone I knew had the ability to become dangerous. And after that, I started second-guessing every move I made.” The rain against the windows mimicked the way he had cried in his quarters after the healers had patched his broken ankle. “I never felt like I would be good enough. And no one ever reminded me that I was. Every mission, I saw that woman lying on the ground in a pool of her own blood, her eyes boring into mine with a hatred, a panic so deep that it haunted me for years.”

     Obi-Wan was surprised when Anakin nodded. “I understand.”

     It made his heart clench. It was silly of him to think that Anakin didn’t have his own experiences with death. They were fighting a war for force’s sake. But the look in Anakin’s blue eyes told him that it had been just as traumatizing for his partner, if not more.

     “My mother died in my arms. And I’d give anything to have visited her before then. I should have gone back to Tatooine years before I found her like that.” Anakin was struggling to keep his breathing steady, his metal hand tightened into a fist and his eyes ablaze with anger that would have set the planet on fire.”If I could have changed anything, I would have gone to visit her when I was younger. She had been freed by a man named Cliegg. She was happy.” Anakin met Obi-Wan’s eyes and they lost all of the energy so quickly, it had Obi-Wan checking his Force signature. “I never got to see her happy with her new family, because of some stupid Jedi rules.”

 

     The admission had Obi-Wan moving off his cushion to embrace Anakin, pulling the younger man into his arms. Anakin didn’t resist, leaning limply to rest his forehead on Obi-Wan’s shoulder. He didn’t cry, but his body shuddered nonetheless. Obi-Wan got the feeling that Anakin had run out of tears a long time ago.The pain was much deeper than he had known.

 

     “I see it all the time, when our men get shot down. When we rescue villagers from their burning homes, all I can think about is how every inch of her skin was ripped open and bloodied. They murdered her and I couldn’t save her,” Anakin’s voice had become nothing but shattered whispers in Obi-Wan’s shoulder.

     So Obi-Wan rubbed his back with one hand and used the other to smooth Anakin’s unruly curls. “She is one with the Force now. There is no pain for her anymore.”

 

     “I know,” Obi-Wan felt Anakin sigh into his robes and grip the rough tabards on his back, finally returning the embrace. “But I’m still here and it hurts.”

 

     “It will hurt for a long time. But maybe each day it will hurt a little less,” Obi-Wan pulled away slightly to place his hands on Anakin’s shoulders, giving him a smile to match the warmth he fed into their bond. “And I’ll be here to talk to if you'd like.” He didn’t get any words from Anakin yet, but the man nodded slowly and it was enough.

 

     Obi-Wan knew what it was like to lose someone.


	11. Summarize Your Life in Four Minutes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cranked out another one tonight, just for you!
> 
> This one's a bit more lighthearted than the last one. These two are so fun to write. Sometimes the words just flow.
> 
> Maybe it's the fact that I SHOULD be planning my wedding right now and I'm procrastinating that allows me to do this. Please help.

**Take four minutes and explain your life story in as much detail as possible.**

 

     Anakin pointed to the datapad beside them. “Let’s move onto the next question? I’m ready to not be depressed.”

 

     Obi-Wan chuckled softly and read the prompt. “We have to summarize our lives in four minutes.”

 

     “We already know each other’s life story, Obi-Wan. Skip it,” Anakin’s hands reached for the datapad, but Obi-Wan held it close to his chest.

     “It’s against the rules to skip, young one. Let’s try to summarize the other person’s story instead, shall we?” He raised an eyebrow, hoping to cheer Anakin with a challenge. “I’ll go first.”

 

     Anakin snorted, but sat back on his cushion with his arms crossed to listen.

 

     “Anakin Skywalker, almost twenty-two years of age. Current Jedi Knight, possibly the Chosen One of an ancient Jedi prophecy.” Anakin’s nose wrinkled at the mention of it. “Found at the age of nine on the desert planet of Tatooine, where he and his mother were enslaved. He knew how to use the Force from a young age, able to predict the future and engage in extremely life-threatening death-trap racing across the desert. He single-handedly destroyed the droid control center that terrorized the city of Theed on Naboo during the Trade Federation blockade after commandeering a Naboo starfighter with his troublesome droid partner, R2.” Obi-Wan took a moment to laugh softly and Anakin joined in. It encouraged Obi-Wan to continue. “Skywalker became the oldest child to ever join the Jedi Order for training, thanks to the most stubborn Jedi Knight in the galaxy, Qui-Gon Jinn, and his astonishingly good-looking Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

 

     “Master,” Anakin whined. “Knock it off,” but his face said otherwise. Anakin was clearly enjoying Obi-Wan’s rendition of his life, even if it was only because he was using an increasingly silly narrator voice.

 

     “Kenobi trained the boy for ten years before he was named a Jedi Knight. It was a long and arduous process that left his Master with grey hairs way too soon and wishes of many Council members to retire.” Anakin was rolling his eyes at him now. “But he became an incredible warrior. The best in lightsaber combat, the strongest Force user, capable of defeating entire droid armies on his own. He is a brilliant pilot and the savior of many planets. Anakin Skywalker is a hero.”

 

     “Really padding my ego to make up for all of the teasing, aren’t you?” Anakin snorted, nudging Obi-Wan with his shoulder. “Not quite at four minutes yet but I don’t think I can stand your fake accent for another second.”

 

     “Excuse me?” Obi-Wan feigned being insulted, but easily fell into a relaxed position on his meditation cushion. “Alright, give it your best shot. Tell me about my life.”

 

     Anakin cleared his throat. “Picture this. A stormy night on Stewjon, if they even have storms there.” He squinted his eyes at Obi-Wan. “Do they have storms?”

 

     “Yes, Anakin.”

 

     “Okay, good. A stormy night. Obi-Wan Kenobi is born, a beacon of light in the darkness. Before he can remember his mother’s face, the Jedi Order takes him from his birth family and brings him to the crechemaster of the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. He grows up strong and makes friends because apparently no one can resist Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon Jinn choses him to become a Padawan and they go on tons of diplomatic missions to weird and obscure planets where he can learn all about ‘pathetic lifeforms’.”

     Obi-Wan could feel tiny wrinkles forming by his eyes as his smile grew, listening to Anakin’s storytelling. “You’re right about that. Remember the flesh-eating plant I showed you on Felucia? He brought one of those back to the Temple.”

 

     “Qui-Gon brought home man-eating plants and Obi-Wan almost died many times doing crazy things like leaving the Order and starting an uprising, or defending a Mandalorian duchess from assassination attempts. Again, no one can resist Obi-Wan so he finds himself with like twenty girlfriends at the same time.” Anakin laughed after Obi-Wan gave a disapproving huff at him.

 

     “She wasn’t my girlfriend, Anakin.”

     “Details, details. As I was saying, the best day of Obi-Wan’s life was the day he met me, because I was the coolest nine-year-old ever. I was so cool that he spent the rest of his life teaching me how to melt metal doors with a laser sword and do badass flips using the Force.” Anakin’s smile faded a little as he continued. “It was hard to train ‘The Chosen One.’ Obi-Wan Kenobi fought many obstacles to be here, but he’s the strongest man I know. I trust him with my life and whole armies do the same, because we know he’s the best general in the Order. He’s willing to jump out a two-hundred story window after an assassin’s droid, fight one-on-one with a Mandalorian bounty hunter, and fly a starfighter even though he’s trying not the throw up every second.”

 

     “Flying is for droids,” Obi-Wan muttered at the thought of his last trip in space, dodging blaster bolts from the Separatist vulture droids.

 

     “Obi-Wan Kenobi is a hero too. But he’s more than that-” Anakin looked at him and Obi-Wan forgot to breathe for a few seconds. “He’s my best friend.”

 

     Obi-Wan didn’t know what he was waiting to hear, but that was as close as the logical part of brain would let him get. They were best friends. He would die for Anakin. Anakin had a beautiful smile on his face and cheeks still pink from the alcohol they’d drank earlier. Obi-Wan thought the label didn’t quite fit like he wanted it to, but didn’t ponder on it for long. He returned the easy smile Anakin had given him, then reached for the datapad at his side.

 

     “That was more fun than I expected,” he smirked. “Although I thought my narration voice was better.”

 

     “You wish, Master.” Anakin scoffed and stood up from his seat on the cushion. “Time for a new drink?”

 

     “Agreed.” Obi-Wan followed suit, ignoring the way his bones cracked as he straightened up. “I need more alcohol if the questions are supposed to get even deeper than this.”


	12. Gaining One Ability

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back again with more marshmallow fluff for you guys?
> 
> I'm done with grad school interviews so here's a gift to celebrate the occasion.

**If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?**

 

     “Something beneficial to everyone around me, or something cool that I want?” Anakin posed the question as he unscrewed the cap on a bottle of chilled green Riosan liquor. Obi-Wan winced inwardly at the scent that wafted out. He could only remember rough nights as a Padawan caused by the disgusting stuff. He had made it this long without telling Anakin about those particular times, so he tried to wipe the grimace off his face.

 

     “Whatever you’d like,” Obi-Wan answered, pushing a small glass across the counter toward Anakin. “I already know what I’d wish for.”

 

     “I don’t feel like this an easy question.” Anakin poured Obi-Wan a generous splash of the offensive drink and an equal portion for himself. “We already have the Force. What else could we need?”

 

     “I’d want the ability to never need sleep again.”

 

     Anakin just looked at him, squinting slightly. Obi-Wan tried to brush past the moment by raising his glass and an eyebrow at his former Padawan. “Cheers?”

 

     The man shrugged and clinked their glasses together. They both knocked back the shot quickly and it left Anakin sputtering despite his resolve. Obi-Wan just chuckled, but the sound of his glass on the counter was a little too loud. His muscles were wound too tight, bracing for the inevitable explanation he'd have to give.

 

     “How come-” Anakin was still coughing. “-how come you don’t want to sleep? Too much work to do?”

 

     Obi-Wan nodded. “More time to finish reports, talk with the Council about battle strategies-”

 

     “That’s unbelievably boring, Master.” Anakin poked at his chest with one finger. “One chance to gain an ability and you want to write more mission reports.”

 

     Obi-Wan grabbed Anakin’s finger and lowered it away from him with a sigh. “Less nightmares too.”

 

     Anakin’s eyes started to widen in surprise. “Obi-Wan,” he exhaled his name as if Obi-Wan had punched him in the stomach.

 

     Obi-Wan’s hand was still holding onto Anakin’s fingers, although the pointed gesture had slacked in mirror of Anakin’s lips as they started to pout.

 

     “You need more to drink!” Anakin reached out for the bottle again with his free hand and  _ Force no _ Obi-Wan was not going to down any more of the liquid death if he had anything to say about it.

 

     “Anakin, no.” He grabbed for Anakin’s wrist. “No more of that.”

 

     “I’d want the power to bring people back from the dead,” Anakin said suddenly, his hand slapping down on the counter after being intercepted by Obi-Wan. “I miss my mom.” With the alcohol dulling his inhibitions, the usual guilt that tagged along with his emotions was no longer present. Anakin no longer felt no need to hide the attachment.

 

     Obi-Wan just stared into those blue eyes, wishing Anakin had said anything else. He held Anakin’s gaze, his grip on the man’s hands tightening instinctively. With each question they answered, Obi-Wan felt it was more likely that Anakin would give up on the stupid Holonet quiz and call it a night. He hadn’t realized how Shmi’s death clung to Anakin’s being at every moment. It had morphed into a fear that clearly ate at him.

 

     “I know you think it’s wrong of me to want that kind of power,” Anakin’s eyes flitted to the side of Obi-Wan’s head, as if he was looking at something in the distance. “It is wrong. It goes against everything you’ve tried to teach me.” Anakin admitted and Obi-Wan just nodded. He was right about that.

 

     “It would defy the will of the Force,” Obi-Wan said softly.

 

     Anakin’s eyes are back to staring right into his soul again. “The will of the Force is a bunch of poodoo sometimes.”

 

     Anakin sounded like he was nine years old. Obi-Wan knew how to deal with it.

 

     “We can’t ever understand how the Force works. At times, it takes things from us before we are ready.” He could feel from the bond between them that Anakin was bracing for something, potentially the same lecture Obi-Wan had heard himself give many times before. It made him pause. Could things be different this time? From what he’d learned tonight, Anakin was under the impression that he had no weakness. Nor did he understand that Obi-Wan tried to be strong for him; to be a beacon of constant light in the swirling uncertainty of this galaxy. 

 

     “Do you think there weren’t times when I would wake up in the morning, hoping to open the door to my chambers and find Qui-Gon brewing a pot of tea and watering the plants on the windowsills? It may have taken even longer for me to move past my grief if it wasn’t for the fact that you needed me, Anakin.” He rubbed his thumb over the top of Anakin’s hand and let it fall away slowly. “I would have given anything to bring him back. It is not natural to have someone torn from your life like that.”

 

     Anakin was quiet. They were two acrobats trying to cross the same tightrope, hundreds of meters above the ground, at an impasse unless one of them fell. 

 

     “You are not alone in your struggles.” Obi-Wan gave him a twitch of a smile. He didn’t know if it worked. 

 

     The embrace came as a surprise, almost sending him to the ground. Anakin’s arms wrapped around him and his face nestled into the crook of Obi-Wan’s neck, their bodies pressed completely together. The younger man breathed him in, and Obi-Wan felt his own arms reach up to clutch Anakin’s waist, fingers digging into his dark inner robes.

 

     “Sometimes-” Anakin’s breath is hot on Obi-Wan’s neck and he fights back a shiver. “-I miss you too and you’re still right here.”

 

     “I’m not going anywhere.” Obi-Wan rubbed a hand up and down Anakin’s back until he loosened his grip slightly. “Except maybe to conservator for a drink that isn’t going to melt my insides.”

 

     “Not yet,” Anakin mumbled into the collar of his robes. “Not done hugging.”

 

     Obi-Wan fought back a chuckle but remained still, allowing himself to indulge Anakin’s attachments and enjoy the warmth of another person. The Jedi way was often a lonely way, but it didn’t always have to be.


	13. A Crystal Ball That Can Tell You the Truth

**If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?**

 

     It was Anakin’s turn to go first. Obi-Wan was busy standing in front of the conservator with the door wide open, stroking his beard and pondering over which bottle of carbonated alcohol he’d try next. Anakin’s hand was rummaging in a bag of fried jema root in an attempt to find a curly one. They crunched the most; his favorite food to binge on whilst drinking away his feelings.

 

     He was embarrassed to admit it, but the holonet questions seemed to be working in one way or another. He wouldn’t say he was “falling in love” with Obi-Wan, but he didn’t often get comfortable enough around the man to hug him without feeling selfish or worthy of admonishment. The air between them was clearer now, as if Anakin could peel back the curtain that so often fell between Obi-Wan’s real emotions and the ones he displayed to those around him.

 

     It was a tough question to answer. Anakin wondered about his future all the time. Would he remain in the Order after the war was finished? Would he ever be able to raise a family? Would he have to choose between his wife and the Order; between his freedom and his dedication to his best friend?

 

     One question glared above the rest. Unlike the others, he would maybe never get to witness the answer just by the passage of time.

 

     “I would ask it what will happen to Ahsoka. Does she make it alright on her own? Will she find a new group to care for and fight with?”

 

     Obi-Wan was still standing there, letting all of the cold air out. Anakin didn’t know if he’d even heard Anakin’s response to the question until he reached into the conservator to twist one of the brown bottles around to view the label and said, “You trained her well, Anakin. I think she will be just fine.”

 

     “But you don’t know that. You’re just saying that to make me feel better. The crystal ball might show me that she starves to death, or gets caught in the crossfire of a battle on some Outer Rim planet.”

 

     Obi-Wan finally picked a bottle and shut the door, turning to face him while popping the cap off the bottle with the Force. “That’s not what I meant. I think all Masters wonder if their Padawans will be successful. It’s slightly more worrisome because of Ahsoka’s choice to leave the Order, but a natural question to ask nonetheless.”

 

     “Did you wonder the same thing about me?”

 

     “Did?” Obi-Wan laughed. “I still do. But it’s more of a hope and less of a concern for you. You are capable of protecting yourself, as is Ahsoka. I hope that both of you will follow your paths as the Force wills.”

 

     “It would still be fun to know.”

 

     “I agree. Ahsoka learned many unconventional lessons from you. It may lead her to new adventures we could not undertake within the Order.”

 

     “Do you think we’ll see her again?” Anakin looked at the surface of the jema root, focusing on the tiny bubbles, the brown edges. It took his mind off the ache in his chest before it could consume him. The noxious Riosan liquor was helping him forget how much it hurt to see Ahsoka leave, but it would never completely erase his memories. 

     “I don’t know.”

 

     He popped the fried root in his mouth. “That’s why I’d ask the crystal ball. What would you ask it?”

 

     Anakin’s eyes followed Obi-Wan’s bottle as it rose to meet the man’s lips, focused on the way his throat moved when he swallowed, and lingered on the way Obi-Wan bit his lip in thought over the question. Something deep in his stomach tugged at him to see how those lips would taste like. He drowned the feeling with more alcohol. Smothered it with more chips of jema root. Why was he noticing these details now?

 

     “I want to know if we’re on the right side of this war.”

 

     The fog of new desire dissipated from Anakin’s mind. “The right side? What do you mean?”

 

     “When I was captured on Geonosis, Count Dooku said something peculiar to me about the Senate.”

 

     A noose of anxiety found its way around Anakin’s neck in seconds. The Senate? Was Padmé in danger? 

 

     “He said they were being manipulated by a Sith Lord. And the longer we continue this war, the more I fear he was not simply trying to seduce me to the side of the Separatists, but was telling me the truth.”

 

     Anakin suddenly felt like all of the alcohol and fried food was going to come back up. “Obi-Wan, this is serious. Have you told the other Council members?”

 

     “Of course, but they assured me that we would sense this kind of corruption. I’m not so sure. The Dark Side clouds everything exactly so you won’t sense their deceit.”

 

     “Senator Amidala expressed concerns about the same thing, minus the Sith Lord, obviously. She’s worried that the Republic is so caught up the fight against the Separatists that corruption is flourishing under our noses.” Anakin didn’t stop to think about the implications of sharing such information with Obi-Wan. The man seemed to understand that he shared a certain amount of trust with Padmé, even if he wasn’t aware of their marriage.

 

     Obi-Wan nodded. “The war has forced us to make decisions, some of which I regret. The Order has cast away some of its morality in exchange for victory against the Separatists. I just want to know if it will be worth it in the end. If the war will end and the democracy we built will sustain itself, if the Order can return to the ways of peacetime.”

 

     “Do you think about this a lot?”

 

     Obi-Wan took another drink and then laughed. “Can you tell?”

 

     “I didn’t know you disagreed with the Council about anything,” Anakin admitted.

 

     “I disagree with them all the time, you just don’t see it.” Obi-Wan brushed past him, resting a hand on Anakin’s shoulder briefly. “Being blindly faithful to the Order leads to situations like faking your own death and betraying your Padawan’s care for you, which I don’t want to do ever again.”

 

     Anakin turned to follow him back into the sitting room. “I’m glad you drew a line somewhere,” he snorted, which earned him a glare from Obi-Wan. “Don’t get mad at me. I was at your funeral!”

 

     “Fair enough,” Obi-Wan huffed, falling onto the couch. Anakin sits down beside him, closer than they’d been when they’d started the quiz earlier in the evening. “Move on to the next question before we bring up old arguments.”

 

     “You were dead!”

 

     Anakin simmered with anger but Obi-Wan gave him a nudge with his elbow and it kept him from descending into a darker state. “Let’s do another question. If you can still fall in love with me after all of the times I’ve failed you, maybe all of this holonet rubbish is onto something.”

 

     The tone of Obi-Wan’s voice was full of mirth, but Anakin’s stomach turned. He thought that they should maybe stop before things get out of hand. But while his mind was deliberating, his fingers had swiped to the next question on the datapad.

 

    _Well one more question couldn’t hurt._


	14. Something You Dreamed of Doing

**Is there something you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?**

  
     Anakin knew as soon as he read the question that it was all over for him. His heart clenched, his throat closed up, his mind became a swirling mess of Naboo landscapes and Padme’s deep brown eyes obscured by a thin veil of handwoven lace.

     Obi-Wan sat next to him, his eyes bright. No doubt the man’s mind was mulling over a mirad of vacation options he’d never been given a chance to visit. The simple enjoyment in his old Master’s eyes made Anakin feel even more guilty. The man had no idea he was married. And here they were, answering these questions like younglings at a sleepover, pretending to be best friends. Pretending? It didn’t seem quite right. Obi-Wan was sharing more personal information than he’d ever had before. The man seemed to trust him, despite the recent hardships their relationship had suffered as a result of the Clone Wars.

     It was only fair that he come clean.

     He opened his mouth. Words didn’t come out.

     Obi-Wan didn’t notice. He was looking off into the distance, as if the walls of their shared apartment were made of transparisteel.

     “I’ve dreamed of visiting uncharted planets, doing exploratory work for the Order. As useful as I am as a negotiator and general, I find myself wishing for peacetime more every day.”

     “You always had fun on those tracking trips we took to Ragoon-6,” Anakin added, but the nostalgic tone was missing from his voice. Obi-Wan turned to look at him and Anakin winced away.  
     “You didn’t? I mean, excluding the mishap on our last journey, I seem to remember enjoying our campfires and sleeping in tree hammocks.”

     “No, it’s not—”

     Kriff, he just couldn’t get the truth to come out. Anakin almost wished he had told Obi-Wan as soon as he’d returned from Naboo, when the joy of betrothal had not yet left his veins. He had wanted to proclaim his love for her at the top of his lungs, down every hall in the Temple. Now, the happiness was trapped under a layer of guilt and self-loathing. Obi-Wan would hate him for what he’d done. They’d never speak again, let alone finish answering a holonet quiz.   
     Obi-Wan was still trying to pull the reason for Anakin’s silence from him. “Remember when I forgot our fire-starter on the ship, you must have been eleven or twelve then, and I’d promised melted sugar puffs at the end of the hike? You were so disappointed and I felt so bad that we ended up trying to cook them with our lightsabers. Didn’t work th—”

     “I’m married.”

      Obi-Wan blinked. An eyebrow raised. “I beg your pardon?”

     “I’m married. To Padme.”

      Obi-Wan set his drink down gently on the table and leaned back into the sofa cushion behind him. “Well I assumed something was going on between you, but it certainly wasn’t marriage.”

     Anakin felt himself break into a cold sweat.  
“You weren’t exactly covert, Anakin.”

     His limbs felt cold. A part of him wanted to get up and run away, steal a speeder from the North Temple bay and take off for the lower levels. He wanted to disappear.

      Suddenly, a hand rested on his shoulder. Obi-Wan’s hand. It wasn’t keeping him there, but the bond between them was screaming to _stay_.

      “Breathe, dear one. The world is not ending,” his voice was still lilting, as if Anakin hadn’t just admitted to betraying his oath to the Order. “The Jedi have never been immune to love, myself included.”

     “I shouldn’t have said anything. I won’t give her up, but you’ll have to tell the Council, and they’ll want to expel me from the Order. I’ll have to go out on my own and I’ll never—” his lungs were inhaling, exhaling, the fear eating away at his chest until all that was left was anger. “You can’t take her away from me, don’t even try it.”

     “I’m not going to tell the Council. You’re not going to be forced out of the Order,” Obi-Wan was speaking sense but Anakin’s stomach was still in knots. “And I’m in no place to force you to stop seeing Senator Amidala if you love her. I’m here to support you, Anakin. You’re safe here.”

     “I do love her.”

     Obi-Wan sighed. “I know.”

     “You know. And you’re not going to tell anyone?”

     “Never. Although I can’t say I completely support this decision. It does make some of your duties more difficult.”

     Anakin pushed off the sofa, beginning to pace back and forth in front of the coffee table. “Don’t lecture me, Obi-Wan.”

     Obi-Wan reached for his hand, stopping Anakin in his tracks. They stared at each other for a moment, Anakin all tensed muscle and a quivering lip. “Anakin, will you please sit down before you start levitating the furniture?”

     He took that moment to look back and saw the ripples in his glass of Riosan liquor, the slight shift of it across the table in time with the rapid beating of his heart. It took every bit of willpower he had to focus on taking a single breath in, then exhale it slowly. Obi-Wan tugged him down to the sofa once more, their knees knocking together as he sat down.

     “You amaze me, consistently.”

     The sentiment wasn’t comforting in the slightest. Anakin snorted dismissively.

     “You’ve obviously kept this secret for awhile now. It must have weighed on you.” Obi-Wan was doing that thing with his thumb where he tries to soothe him by giving the smallest amount of physical touch he can afford. Anakin wanted more, but didn’t ask. “When did you have time to get married?”

      “After Geonosis.”

     That earns him another eyebrow raise, but Obi-Wan wisely keeps his comments to himself. He treads carefully instead. “Are you happy being her husband?”

     “Of course, always. I mean, it’s,” Anakin paused, searching for the right words. “It’s hard, but it’s worth it.”

     “I’m glad you’re happy,” Obi-Wan says. And when Anakin finally met his gaze, he found genuine empathy in Obi-Wan’s blue-green eyes. “Happiness is so hard to find these days.”

     Obi-Wan’s hand finally let go of his and Anakin almost cried out to have it back.

     “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to tell you. It was just never the right time, and I was afraid of what would happen when you knew the truth.” His voice was shaking and he cursed himself for being so weak in front of another person.

     “It’s okay. You don’t have to justify anything to me. I’m not angry with you, just glad to clear the air between us.”

     Anakin nodded. It felt good to get it off his chest. And Obi-Wan wasn’t furious with him. A small laugh bubbled up from his chest and soon they were both chuckled softly. “Now that’s the Lothcat’s out of the bag, I do remember that camping trip and those sugar puffs were the best.”

     “They tasted scorched.”

     “They tasted like stars. Don’t ruin my sugar-coated memories.”

     “Now you’re making me hungry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s all for now but the questions are heating up so look forward to more fluff when I get the chance :D special thanks to theunethicalscientist for ideas and edits


	15. The greatest accomplishment in your life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have returned! All of my important life events are completed and now my mind is free to imagine all the ways obi-wan and Anakin can fall in love. Please enjoy these new additions :D your continued support is why I keep coming back to these stories with new ideas. Thank you for sticking around!

  **What is the greatest accomplishment in your life?** ****

“I’d say being the youngest and only human to win a podrace is pretty fantastic,” Anakin laughed, knocking back a hefty swig of the liquor in his glass. The lightness in his heart from the previous question left him feeling like he could float away. Or was that the alcohol?

 

    It didn’t matter.

 

    Obi-Wan’s cheeks were rosy and he had his hand in a bag of sweets he’d pulled out of cupboard using the Force, chewing slowly on taffy as he mused. _For a Jedi Master, it must be hard to narrow it down to one accomplishment._ Anakin admired his master’s lightsaber forms; the elegant Soresu had saved them both many times. Countless missions had relied on Obi-Wan’s charm and wit, negotiating between disparate groups and coming to agreements Anakin thought impossible. Defending worlds. Foiling assassination schemes. _Which of these moments will he choose?_

 

    Finally, Obi-Wan turned his gaze to Anakin, the corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled softly. “You.”

 

    “Me? Oh well, I wasn’t totally kidding about the podrace but probably when I was knighted because-”

 

    “No, Anakin.” Obi-Wan shook his head, the smile still on his face. Anakin stopped, the stream of words abruptly cut off. “You are the greatest accomplishment in my life.”

 

    _Oh._

 

    The way his heart jumped was embarrassing - mortifying -  and he swore Obi-Wan was on the verge of laughter. Anakin ducked his head down, not wanting to see the truth in his master’s eyes. “You don’t mean that.”

 

    “And it’s not only because I promised Qui-Gon. I’ve watched you grow into such an amazing Jedi, much more powerful and in tune with the Force than I could ever be. There has never been another like you, Anakin. And I am honored to have been a part of your journey, as a Master and a friend.”

 

    “Stop that,” Anakin scoffed softly, picking at a loose thread on the seam of his pants. “You act like I would have ended up a Jedi Knight anyway and you just came along for the ride. You taught me everything I know. You practically raised me and you never asked for that.”

   

    There was moment of silence and Anakin finally looked back up. The color in his cheeks was nowhere near fading and the tug in his chest was growing stronger with each moment, but Obi-Wan was glowing in the Force like a sun and Anakin couldn’t resist his warmth. The feeling was infectious.

 

    “I’m proud of you, Anakin. I don’t tell you that enough.”

 

    “I told you to stop it,” Anakin laughed, snatching a piece of candy from the bag in Obi-Wan’s lap. He popped it into his mouth and let the subtle tang of fruit distract him from the way Obi-Wan’s thigh was pressing against his. _When was the last time we sat this close to each other?_ Anakin couldn’t remember, but it had to have been before his assignment with Padme years back. At least when Obi-Wan was willing. There had been plenty of moments using each other’s shoulder has a pillow while traveling through hyperspace to the next skirmish, or sharing a thin sleeping pad in the tents of a band of Onderon rebels. But sitting close for the sake of comfort and affection wasn’t Obi-Wan’s thing.

 

    And he was indulging Anakin in it because of this newfound openness between them.

 

    Anakin wished he would have done this sooner. The hunger in his heart for physical contact never ceased, only lessened after nights with Padme. He didn’t get many of those moments nowadays. He felt something within him start to uncoil the more he focused on Obi-Wan’s presence beside him.

 

    “What about you?” Obi-Wan’s voice cut through his thoughts. “It must have been some podrace.”

 

    “Getting knighted, probably. The Boonta Eve is second.”

 

    “You worked hard. It is definitely something to be proud of.” Obi-Wan nodded. “You have made a difference to galaxy by dedicating yourself to the Order.”

 

    “Sometimes I feel like I should be doing more,” Anakin admitted. “I wanted to help those in need and stop slavers, but it seems like all we do is bring death to every planet we land on.”

 

    “It is the nature of war,” Obi-Wan said, as though straight from a textbook. “Our participation in it prevents us from focusing on the problems you describe.” He sighed. “Although, I think in many circumstances, you and I have helped those in need.”

 

    “I just want it to be over.”

 

    “So do I, Anakin.”

 

    “But the podrace was amazing. Different from the ones on the lower levels here, for sure. It felt more like flying, out in the open desert like that. And it was my ticket to get off that sandy hellhole.”

 

    “I don’t know how you enjoyed those death races.”

    “It was just practice for flying with a pack of vulture droids on my tail every time we run into General Grievous.”

 

    “My point exactly,” Obi-Wan said. “Neither are pleasant.”

 

    “I think you’re just getting old, Master. Old and boring,” Anakin teased, leaning into Obi-Wan’s space a little.

 

    “Flying’s for droids,” Obi-Wan mumbled, but softened slightly, letting Anakin stay pressed against him. When they looked at each other, their faces were so close that Anakin could make out the fine lines that formed as Obi-Wan smirked, could notice the imperfections on his nose and cheeks from days of dodging shrapnel and baking in the suns of desert planets. But what held his attention was the color of his eyes, which looked blue from a distance, but were actually a mixture of greens and greys that Anakin rarely got to see up close.

  
    He swallowed roughly, looking away to find the datapad. _Let’s get this over with before I do something stupid._


	16. Friendship Values

**What do you value most in a friendship?**

 

Obi-Wan took a moment to think of the friends he had. Satine. Senator Organa. Quinlan Vos. Their paths through life were different, each friendship cropping up from unique situations. But he definitely had a type; he loved a good debate.

 

“I think I value the ability to express convictions and open each other’s minds to new perspectives. Someone who mindlessly spouts popular opinion and doesn’t reflect on themselves isn’t a person I want to be around.”

 

“You argue with me all the time, Master. That must mean we’re best friends,” Anakin said with a chuckle. 

 

“I argue with you because you make reckless plans and emotional decisions during critical military operations,” Obi-Wan countered, but there wasn’t any fight in his words. “But you’re passionate about your opinions, and as much as it frustrates me, it also allows me to step outside of my own experiences.”

 

“So wise.”

 

“You’re mocking me.”

 

“No, no! I just see why you’re so close with Satine.”

 

He let out a sigh. “Satine and I rarely agree on things, but her passion and dedication to her system are impressive. Most would have given up, back when we were on the run from assassins. In fact, at one point I begged her to leave Mandalore behind, if only to save her life. She would not abandon her people. For that, she is an admirable leader.” 

 

“You would fall in love with a woman because she disagrees with you.” Anakin shook his head. “Next thing I know, you’ll be telling me that you’ve got a thing for Bail Organa.”

 

Obi-Wan raised his eyebrow and gave Anakin a look of feigned astonishment. “Are you insinuating that I’d be a homewrecker, Anakin?” 

 

“Are you insinuating that the only thing stopping you is that he’s married?”

 

Obi-Wan just laughed and reached for Anakin’s glass. He drank the last of the liquor and held the glass in front of him for a moment, staring at the way it distorted the light as he turned it slowly. “I think we’ve had enough drinks for tonight,” he said as he set the glass on the coffee table. “It’s getting quite late.”

 

He watched as Anakin blinked several times, straightened up against the back of the sofa.  _ He is surprised. _ Obi-Wan thought it was amusing, although he couldn’t blame Anakin for not knowing his preferences. He had tried to keep his personal life private in an attempt to be a good role model for Anakin when he was younger. It was only now that he realized how inhuman it made him seem, and how Anakin must have felt with that person as a master.

 

“I didn’t get to answer the question yet. Don’t think you can escape from this,” Anakin teased, tapping at the datapad. “We still have twenty questions left.”

 

“By the Force, we’ll be up until the morning!” He rose from his seat on the couch and heard Anakin let out a whine at the sudden movement. “I’m going to brush my teeth. You can tell me your answer while I’m doing that.” He held out a hand, beckoning Anakin toward him.

 

Anakin took hold of his hand and Obi-Wan yanked him to his feet. Despite the bright smile on his face, Obi-Wan could tell there was layer of exhaustion underneath.  _ He doesn’t sleep well either. _ The thought made his heart clench. He shouldn’t have put off asking Anakin to meditate together for this long. He thanked the Force for the quiz bringing the question out of him. They both needed a chance to set aside their worries and attune themselves to the Force again. 

     It was the buzz of alcohol in his veins that stopped him from suggesting they try to meditate right now. It was hard to cast aside one’s physical form and sink into the Force when this stuff was drawing his attention to the strangest things. Like the warmth of Anakin’s hand in his as they walked to the ‘fresher. He hadn’t let go. 

 

Obi-Wan looked back at Anakin and felt the hand fall away. There was an apology in his eyes but Obi-Wan didn’t understand what for. “Come on, then. What do you value the most?”

“Loyalty.” The answer was soft and unsurprising. Anakin was willing to lay down his life for his friends. It only made sense that he would want the same from them. Obi-Wan hummed in agreement, starting to brush his teeth. He watched Anakin in the mirror as he sat down on the edge of the bathtub. “It’s important to be there for people through thick and thin. If someone flakes out when it’s not convenient for them, there’s no reason for me to call them a friend.”

 

Obi-Wan felt his face fall. Anakin was loyal to people, to the point of pain at times. He put all of his faith in his friends. It was his attachment to them that concerned the Council the most, Obi-Wan knew. 

 

“After the whole incident with Rako Hardeen, I wasn’t sure if you were really my friend anymore. Your loyalty to the Council meant more to you than anything you felt for me.”

 

Obi-Wan’s mouth was full of toothpaste. He couldn’t say anything to deny what Anakin was saying. But he couldn’t have done it regardless. All he could do was fill their bond with remorse. 

 

“But I forgive you, don’t worry.” Anakin’s smile wasn’t as bright as it had been, but it was a good sign. Obi-Wan rinsed his mouth and turned around to lean against the sink.

 

“There was a wall between us before we started this quiz, wasn’t there?”

 

Anakin nodded slowly.

 

“But what about now?” Obi-Wan reached out into the Force, feeling for the threads of the bond between them. There was no resistance when he sent feelings of comfort toward Anakin, only acceptance and affection. Enough affection to make Obi-Wan stand there, afraid to break the connection between them.

 

“I should-”

 

“I’m just going to-”

 

They spoke at the same time and the words dissolved into embarrassed laughter.

 

“I should grab the datapad if we’re going to finish this quiz any time soon,” Obi-Wan tried again, turning to leave the ‘fresher. 

 

“Good idea.”


	17. Most Treasured Memory

**What is your most treasured memory?**

 

Obi-Wan stripped down to his undergarments in his bedroom and reached a hand into the small wooden wardrobe to grab his sleep-clothes. The small lamp by his bed was the only source of light in the room, casting dark shadows that made it hard to see if he was grabbing anything at all. He spent several minutes pulling out clothes, holding them up to the light, and tossing them back in because they weren’t what he was looking for. Anakin had left to change into something more comfortable than leather tabards, but by the time Obi-Wan found suitable pants, he had already returned and sprawled out on Obi-Wan’s freshly made bed.  _ Typical.  _

He kept his back turned to Anakin, rummaging for a matching shirt and failing to ignore the set of eyes following his every move. He couldn’t say the attention was unwanted - that couldn’t be farther from the truth. But it was against the Jedi code to have desires for an individual, to want to possess them in any fashion. 

 

Obi-Wan wanted to be Anakin’s - if only for a moment. This thought made his hands shake as he pulled the shirt over his head and onto his body. It was stupid to want, and downright scandalous to bask in the attention of your  _ married  _ former Padawan. He breathed out the discomfort that clawed at his chest and turned around. 

Anakin was lying across the bed, head propped up in his hands and legs bent at the knee, crossed like an X that mocked Obi-Wan.  _ Off-limits. Don’t assume that this newfound closeness means anything to him. Don’t push the boundaries.  _ And yet Obi-Wan felt himself smiling like an idiot, because the warm lamplight was hitting Anakin’s face just so, illuminating his cheekbones and tinting his curled hair with gold. He looked soft, unlike the version of Anakin that Obi-Wan knew on the battlefield. 

 

“Is this turning into a sleepover?” Obi-Wan felt himself say - a natural reaction of sarcasm to hide the growing fondness in his throat. It threatened to spill out if he stood there for any longer. Obi-Wan sat down on the edge of the bed and cleared his throat.

 

“There won’t be any sleeping going on here,” Anakin quipped, sliding the datapad toward him with a wink. “Next question.”

 

“What’s your most treasured memory?” Obi-Wan read aloud. “My goodness. That’s difficult.”

 

“Not at all,” Anakin answered softly. “I could name a thousand memories of my mother alone.”

 

Obi-Wan’s brow furrowed. “But to pick just one?”

 

“Unrealistic. But I’ll give you one of my favorites since I rarely get the chance to talk about her without the intense urge to punch a wall or cry.” He spoke toward the wall, but when he turned to see Obi-Wan’s reaction, he started to laugh. “No, no, don’t worry. A happy memory. I promise.”

 

Anakin’s memories of his mother were rarely left untainted by her sudden death, but Obi-Wan let him continue. Too many times, he had silenced Anakin as a Padawan, forcing him to cast away his attachment to Shmi to benefit his training. But he found that silence did not equate with acceptance and it did not erase the grief. He cast a comforting feeling out into the Force like a fisherman’s net in the sea, hoping to capture Anakin within it. It was easy for the man to drift away in the expanse of memories. Obi-Wan would not let him suffer if he had anything to say about it.

 

“She brought me a set of carving tools when I was eight. I don’t know how she got ahold of it, although I suspect she was saving rations of her food and selling them in the evenings to make money. It must have taken her months - years even - to have enough for it.” His eyes were glassy as he talked about her, but wide with realizations he hadn’t made as a child.

“And it was dangerous too. The set came with small knives, something a slave could get killed for owning. But she knew I had a knack for working with my hands and she wanted to keep me busy, so she sat me down at the table and showed me how to use the tools with a piece of soap.”

 

_ Soap? _

 

Anakin felt Obi-Wan’s confusion before he could voice it. “Soft wood on a desert planet? Good kriffing luck, Master.” He scoffed with half a breath. “I would have cut a couple fingers off trying to hack at the wood from Tatooine. It’s all brittle. Not like the stuff they use here,” he said as he gestured toward the furniture. “I found one piece of usable japor in an entire year. Traded a stolen motivator for it.”

 

“How did your mother know how to carve?”

 

“Part of her job, I guess. Gardulla didn’t have many slaves with a good eye for art, but my mother was one of them. Probably forced her to decorate all of the stupid frames for paintings, chairs and tables, you know. A slave with a craft is valuable, and you make yourself valuable unless you want to get paraded around with no clothes on and labeled as a one-time use gift.” Anakin shook his head. “This was supposed to be a happy memory, but my family history isn’t enjoyable. Sorry, Master.”

 

Obi-Wan put a hand on Anakin’s shoulder. “Don’t be sorry, Anakin. I’m honored that you trust me enough to share the darker parts of your past. Tell me more about the carvings. Did she teach you anything in particular?”

 

He nodded, breathing deeply. “Yeah, all kinds of things. The first one I made was a ship that I’d seen just outside of town. Belonged to a smuggler, probably. My mom sat next to me all evening, showing me how to plan the design and hold the knife just right.” Anakin felt calm in the Force, which pleased Obi-Wan. It was a rare moment for Anakin to speak of Shmi without it devolving into anger.

“It made me feel special to have moments where it was just the two of us, doing something we wanted to do,” Anakin admitted. “She’d carve flowers and I’d carve the next best ship model I’d heard about in the shop and tell her all about it. I’d list all the specs, explain  the upgrades I’d put on it if I had my own; silly kid stuff. She taught me to do other shapes too. Animals, symbols of love and good fortune. I made one for Padme after we first met.” His cheeks reddened at the thought. Obi-Wan smiled, remembering Anakin’s enthusiasm and innocent wonder when on the former queen’s ship. 

 

“Always a charmer, aren’t you?”

 

“I try.” Anakin smirked. “I always thought Mom was trying to keep me out of trouble by giving me more projects to tinker with, but now-” he paused, looking down at the bare floor. “Now I think she was trying to give me a craft, something to make me valuable just in case we never escaped. She was protecting me.”

 

They sat in silence together.  _ A moment for Shmi. _

 

“Do you have a treasured memory?” Anakin asked with hesitation. “Maybe one of you and Qui-Gon?”

 

“I have many memories of us together. I remember them fondly, but they are not my most treasured.” The feeling had returned, crawling at Obi-Wan’s throat again.  _ Let me rest!  _ He begged his heart to be still, but it beat in earnest. “The one I’m thinking of was only a year ago.”

 

“Let me guess, when Dex got a shipment of that special ice cream you like. The jogan fruit one.”

“Anakin.”

 

“Wrong? Okay, what about-”

 

“It’s my turn to answer, is it not?” Obi-Wan snarked, looking at Anakin through squinted eyes. “The jogan ice cream is a close second though.” He paused, unsure if his answer would surprise Anakin at all. “The trip to Iloh last year is the memory I’m thinking of.”

 

“Really?” Anakin was beaming. It seemed his body was suddenly filled with energy as he flipped around to sit on the edge of the bed beside Obi-Wan. “You liked it that much?”

 

The trip had meant more to Obi-Wan than he had let on when it occurred. The warmth of the sand on his toes, the clear blue ocean with its calming waves; the perfect place to relax and meditate the days away. He wished he could return right now, with Anakin of course. It wouldn’t have been memorable without him.

“Anakin, taking me there was the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me.”

 

Anakin blushed just like he had when their ship jumped out of hyperspace in front of the lush planet Iloh.  _ I hope you don’t mind making a quick stop, Master. It’s your name day after all.  _ Anakin’s words from that day echoed in Obi-Wan’s mind. 

 

“You deserved some rest,” Anakin mumbled, turning away sheepishly. “Force knows the Council didn’t notice.”

 

“Hey, look at me,” Obi-Wan said, shaking Anakin’s shoulder. When Anakin finally cooperated, Obi-Wan was met with a gaze that made his stomach flip. Anakin looked ashamed - no,  _ bashful _ \- at the mention of his gift to Obi-Wan. And the uncharacteristic lack of confidence was what pushed the words from Obi-Wan’s mouth, the ones he’d been trying to swallow back the whole time. “No one remembers my name day. I don’t even keep track anymore. And in the middle of this blasted war you somehow found the time to plant us down on a planet full of sandy beaches so that I could enjoy myself. Even though you hate sand.” Obi-Wan found himself laughing to hide the emotion in his voice, but it leaked out into the Force anyway. 

 

“The sand was awful, Master,” Anakin said softly, unable to keep himself from smiling. “You just sat down in it with robes on.”

 

“It reminded me of the peace we had before the war, the peace we’re fighting for with every battle. That there’s still beauty in this galaxy.”

 

Anakin was staring at him with  _ those damn blue eyes _ and he couldn’t stop himself. 

 

“And that I have someone to share it with.”

 

Anakin reached up and put his hand on Obi-Wan’s, which still gripped his shoulder. “Glad you liked it, Master.” He ran his thumb over the top of Obi-Wan’s hand in a gesture of fondness as he chuckled. “Makes getting yelled at by the Council for delaying our arrival worth it.”

“We got in a fair amount of trouble, didn’t we?”

 

“Not enough to stop me from doing it again,” Anakin smirked and fell on his side as Obi-Wan gave him a playful shove.

 

“Don’t test their patience,” Obi-Wan said, but his heart felt the opposite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s all for now, but if I work on the next ones, I could have more ready in a couple days. I just need time to brainstorm with theunethicalscientist. I want to thank you again for reading! All of the comments are supportive and lovely! I appreciate all of you and hope these chapters could brighten your day.


	18. Your Most Terrible Memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see, friends. I wrote these all in one sitting, as is tradition. I may or may not be trying to write something original on the side, so I put this off for longer than I wanted. But finally I'm here! There are some emotional moments in this set and it only gets deeper from here. I'm excited, you guys! I hope you enjoy :D

**What is your most terrible memory?**

 

Anakin heard Obi-Wan read the question aloud and felt his stomach clench. He was still lying on one side and tilted his head to give the other man a look of concern.

“I would suggest that we skip this one, since we’ve both seen some awful things,” Obi-Wan admitted. Anakin felt his chest warm at Obi-Wan’s obvious care for his wellbeing, but another part of him wouldn’t let them skip the question, especially this deep into the quiz. And finally, it gave him the opportunity to learn something about his master that he was usually too afraid to ask. 

“No, I’ll do it.” Anakin sat up slowly, pulling his legs up onto the bed and pushing his back against the wooden headboard of Obi-Wan’s bed. “But I’m pretty sure you’re not going to want to be in the same room as me ever again. Kriff, you might report me to the Council.” Anakin stared down at his feet.

 

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan sighed, turning his body to mirror Anakin’s position on the other end of the bed. “How many times do I have to tell you I’m not going to report you to the Council for you to believe it?.”

 

“I touched the darkness, Master. Frankly, you  _ should  _ report me to the Council for what I’m about to tell you.”

 

Obi-Wan’s brows furrowed in concern, and the soft warmth of comfort coming from their bond suddenly shivered as if a cold wind had blown into the room. His master stayed silent, hands clasped in his lap, his blue eyes staring through Anakin’s walls, through his shields and straight to his soul. It brought him back to that day on Tatooine, mindlessly fiddling with the parts of a broken machine and hoping madly that he could erase the feeling of ruthless vengeance from his skin. He could still see the shock on Padme’s face when he had admitted the truth that ate at him, could feel the sand underneath his hands as he fell to the ground in grief.

 

“My mother was kidnapped by Tusken Raiders. They tortured her and she-” he paused, breathing in deep to stave off the weakness in his voice, curse his weak mind and his traitor body. He had worked so hard to swallow down these feelings. “She died in my arms a minute after I found her, bleeding in the corner of one of their disgusting huts.”

 

Obi-Wan reached between them and gripped Anakin’s wrist gently, stilling his shaking hand. He hadn’t noticed it begin, but now it wouldn’t stop. Anakin squeezed his eyes shut but the images continued to flood his mind. “And in that moment, I felt so much hate, it was like I could have burned the whole camp of them to the ground. I thought ‘How dare they take her from me?’”

 

His master nodded solemnly. “I had assumed as much after what I felt through our bond after we returned from Geonosis.”

“That’s not it, Obi-Wan.” Anakin looked into his eyes and everything started to get blurry, as much as he tried to hold it back. “I gave in. I didn’t just touch the dark side. I used it. I let the anger fuel me and I killed every single one of the Tuskens like they were rats.”

 

The two men sat in silence, connected by Obi-Wan’s hand on Anakin’s wrist and by the threads of bond between them, glowing steadily in the Force. Tears escaped from the corners of Anakin’s eyes and he didn’t move to brush them away.

 

“I’m not even sorry. I will never be sorry for what I did. They killed my mother and they deserved to die like the animals they were.”

 

“Anakin, you don’t mean that.” Obi-Wan’s voice was barely a whisper.

 

“I do, I-” his voice cracked and his hand came up to stifle a sob. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, as if it could protect him from the man who he knew would be disappointed. He had failed his master years ago and carried it with him ever since. He had failed his mother and she had died. He had failed the Jedi by slaughtering helpless beings. “I couldn’t save her.”

 

“Anakin, look at me!” 

 

Obi-Wan’s voice barely cut through the images of Shmi’s limp body in his arms, the screams of Tuskens falling as his blue blade cut through them like the wind. Anakin couldn’t breathe. The grief gripped his throat and threatened to choke him. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t-

 

The bond between them suddenly pulled him from the darkness, his mind flooded with images of rainstorms, a warm cup of tea, and laughing at an inappropriate joke in the elevator on their way to another Council meeting. Warm sunshine, fields of flowers, and fixing a broken droid for the Temple’s garden maintenance team. The sensation of choking started to fade and the feeling in his body returned to him. His right hand was gripping the sheets, his left unrestricted by Obi-Wan anymore. Anakin wondered where he’d gone but then noticed the weight on both of his shoulders. Hands, gripping him and keeping him steady. A pressure on his forehead made his eyes flutter open and he was met with a sight that he rarely saw except in dreams tainted with guilt. Obi-Wan was so close he could feel the man’s breath on his lips. Their foreheads were pressed together, noses inches apart.

 

Anakin exhaled slowly, allowing his shields to drop enough for the warmth between them to melt his grief away for just a moment.

 

“Anakin, you should have told me this a long time ago.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Embracing the dark side is dangerous, especially for you.”

 

Anakin has no reply to that. He blinks quickly, finding himself increasing distracted by the proximity of Obi-Wan.

 

“You are more in tune with the Force than anyone I have met, and with that comes a connection to both the light and dark. If you give into that darkness, it could easily consume you.”

 

“Sometimes I feel like it has.”

 

Obi-Wan sat back and Anakin swallowed back a whine at the loss of contact.

 

“I understand your desire for revenge,” Obi-Wan admitted. Anakin sniffled, wiping tears away from his eyes.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“When Maul stabbed Qui-Gon, I was so overcome with rage, I forgot everything about the control I’d spent my whole life practicing. All I could think about was the feeling of my master being ripped away from me and the vile Sith that was responsible. When I attacked him, I felt stronger than I had ever been. I was seeing his moves before he could make them, but the dark side sapped my strength, clouded my mind. Before I knew it, Maul had disarmed me and sent me tumbling over the edge and toward a reactor shaft.”

 

Anakin looked into his Master’s eyes and saw something he hadn’t ever seen before. A pain so deep, a bitterness that Obi-Wan kept only for himself.

 

“It took everything in me to reject that hate, to let go of the person I had loved and trusted with my life.”

 

“You didn’t give into the dark side like me,” Anakin said, breaking his gaze.

 

“I cannot even imagine what it must have felt like for you, Anakin. I touched it for mere seconds and I felt like it would swallow me whole. The fact that you even returned to the light is a miracle.”

 

“You think so?” He felt slightly better, although still guilty.

 

“Anakin, I cannot condone your actions. Killing the Tuskens was a terrible thing and the hatred in your heart is a danger to you and those you love, but I can say that I understand and want to help you find peace.”

 

Anakin shook his head. “How am I supposed to do that?”

 

“It might take the rest of your life. We all do things that we regret, and we carry those things with us every day. But we can learn to let go of the things that lead us to vengeance and hate, as much as it hurts.”

 

“Attachments,” Anakin nods, but feels himself becoming sullen. Obi-Wan wanted him to do something that was impossible.

 

“We must accept that we are not above the will of the Force, we are at its mercy. Attachments hold us back from that, pit us against an unstoppable fate.”

 

“Sounds like I’m doomed then,” Anakin slumped. Obi-Wan drew his hands away finally, taking the last bit of warmth away.

 

“So am I,” Obi-Wan said, a quiver of a smirk on his lips. It surprised Anakin. “I can’t seem to stop myself when it comes to certain people. I haven’t learned a thing since Qui-Gon’s death, have I?”

 

Anakin could tell Obi-Wan was trying to make light of the situation, but Anakin wasn’t ready to laugh. It was too serious and such a vulnerable thing to admit to one’s former Padawan. Obi-Wan had seemed so calm and dedicated to the greater good ever since his Master’s passing. 

 

“Losing him should have kept me from ever getting attached to anyone again. It hurt more than anything I’ve ever felt. But yet I continue to grow these attachments like weeds,” Obi-Wan laughed softly, but his eyes had a weary look to them. He was tired. So was Anakin, and it had nothing to do with the dwindling hours of the evening as they answered questions together. “Watching Qui-Gon die was my most terrible memory, if you hadn’t guessed.”

 

Anakin could only nod slowly. “I still miss him sometimes and I only knew him for a few days.”

 

“He was a great man and an even better Jedi,” Obi-Wan said, but he was smiling, surrounding them with comfort once more. He was like that, always trying to make the other person feel better at the expense of himself. Anakin accepted the comfort anyway, because it was cruel to force Obi-Wan to share his pain in their bond. It was hard to shut off a part of himself to hide his own feelings, and much harder to lay it all out between them. After remembering the things they longed to forget, he didn’t ask for more.


	19. In One Year, You Die Suddenly

**If you know that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are living now? Why?**

 

“We’re in quite a morbid section of this quiz,” Obi-Wan said as he tapped on the datapad and revealed the next question. “It’s not hard to imagine dying suddenly in one year, with the way the war has been going.”

 

“Master,” he heard Anakin gasp. “I won’t let that happen.”

 

The man’s promise was ferocious, the residual hatred brought up by his memories of the Tusken Raiders bled into their bond. Obi-Wan had no doubt that Anakin would cut down anyone that put his master in danger, as much as Obi-Wan wished he wouldn’t devote so much of his attention to him. The memory of being kneed in the groin while disguised as Rako Hardeen came to mind and he winced reflexively.

 

“Well let’s entertain the hypothetical, shall we?” Obi-Wan raised his eyebrow and looked at his brooding former Padawan with a gentle smile. He still wasn’t fully calmed, as much as Obi-Wan was trying to mitigate the situation. “I thought this quiz was going to be easy, if I’m being honest. It has become quite the psychometric analysis.”

 

Anakin snorted at his comment and looked up at him. “Well? What would you change? I answered first last time.”

 

“It’s a tough question. I might take on more dangerous missions in the hopes of ending this war before I pass.”

 

“Always the self-sacrificing hero, aren’t you?”

 

“I did dedicate my life to serving the Order, Anakin. My Oath to the Jedi does not change with the knowledge of my inevitable death.” Obi-Wan said it with confidence, but as he watched Anakin’s face fall further into a grimace, he wondered if he’d made a mistake.

 

“If you only had a year, you’d stay? Man, I’d be gone, sipping cocktails on the beach and spending every morning waking up next to Padme in a house on Naboo,” Anakin scoffed, running a hand through his hair. “If she’d let me, I’d go free slaves on Tatooine, maybe even other planets if I had the chance.”

 

Obi-Wan had to admit, Anakin’s last year of life sounded fantastic. The idea of having no obligations and a companion to share the days with; it was something he’d never felt. And slavery had been rampant in the galaxy for far too long, no thanks to the Republic Senate or the Jedi. It would be nice to make a difference and not have someone to answer to. He could still remember the restrictive collar around his neck at the camp on Kadavo, the screams of Togruta colonists and the crack of electrowhips against their backs. He had felt their pain deeper than his own. Even as a Jedi Master, he could not end the terrible construct of slavery from the galaxy. Freedom like leaving the Order would give them that.

 

“You do make a compelling case,” he said, stroking his beard.

 

“Don’t need to be a pawn of the Council or the Senate to do good in the galaxy. What do you say, Obi-Wan?” Anakin extended a hand toward him. “If we find out we’re going to die in one year, do you agree to leave the Order and free slaves across the galaxy with me?”

 

“I do,” Obi-Wan answered, grabbing Anakin’s forearm and Anakin’s hand wrapped around his. They held each other’s arms in symbol of their promise and Obi-Wan let out a chuckle. “And do you, Anakin Skywalker, agree to drink cocktails with me and let me visit you on Naboo?”

 

“You can do more than visit, Obi-Wan. Kriff, I’d let you live with me.” Anakin let go of their hold and finally laughed softly, shaking his head. 

 

“I do.”

 

The two men smiled at each other for a moment before turning to look at the datapad.

 

“It’s a silly fantasy to entertain, I know that. But sometimes it gets so overwhelming to be a Jedi, you know?” Anakin sighed, leaning back onto some pillows.

 

“I know. You never let me forget how much you hate listening to the Council’s orders,” Obi-Wan deadpanned, pulling another laugh from Anakin’s lips.

 

“Sorry, Master.”

 

“I’m not the one you need to apologize to. Master Windu has a bone to pick with you.”

 

Anakin rolled his eyes and Obi-Wan looked down at the next question, his traitor lips pulling up into a smile at Anakin’s ornery attitude. He shouldn’t be so amused by his former Padawan’s disrespect toward his elders, but Anakin had learned it from him, no doubt. 


	20. The Meaning of Friendship

**What does friendship mean to you?**

 

“What kind of question is this?” Anakin exclaimed, tossing his hands behind his head. “I feel like most people would say, ‘Laughing really loud and not having to be embarrassed,’ or ‘Sunshine and rainbows!’”

 

“You’re really getting fed up with these questions, aren’t you?” Obi-Wan mocked, looking at his distressed partner in crime. “We’re supposed to make it to the end or it won’t be worth it. How are we supposed to fall in love, Anakin?”

 

Anakin’s cheeks got a little red and he turned away with a huff. “I just feel like that’s such a silly thing to ask. Friendship means something slightly different for everyone.”

 

“Maybe that’s why they’re asking,” Obi-Wan said, noting the faint blush on Anakin’s cheeks. It gave him a warm feeling in his stomach and made his hands clammy like he was a thirteen-year-old Padawan again, noticing a pretty girl in Astronavigation class. “And it’s your turn to answer, if we’re keeping up with that whole pattern.” 

 

He was silently glad it wasn’t his turn, with his mind preoccupied as it was. Anakin’s shirt had pulled up as he reacted in exasperation, revealing a sliver of skin that was looking particularly interesting. Maybe it was the residual alcohol in his system, or the fact that he’d been inches from Anakin’ face earlier and had some questionable urges. In his opinion, the quiz was more manipulative than he expected. For Force’s sake, as if he needed help developing affection for Anakin Skywalker.

 

“Alright, fine,” Anakin acquiesced, wiggling his toes as he thought. “Friendship means watching each other’s backs, everyone leaving an extra seat next to you because they know you always sit together, splitting ration bars toward the end of a mission when the food starts to run low.” He was lost in his own thoughts, his blush continuing to spread to his ears. “It means you do things you don’t like because it makes the other person smile, but that doesn’t happen often because you like the same things, like the holodramas, right?”

 

“I do not like those abhorrent exaggerations of romance, Anakin.”

 

“You teared up when Serena broke up with Jaron!”

 

“Because you force me to get emotionally invested in characters with unnecessarily complex backstories and-”

 

“Master, I’m not done,” Anakin teased. “Friendship is springing traps together and causing trouble. Friendship is Luminara yelling at us for teasing each other too much during strategy holomeetings.”

 

“She told me that we sound like a married couple, Anakin. You have to stop inciting these situations,” Obi-Wan complained, dragging a hand down his face.

 

“Your turn,” Anakin sang, sitting up with bright eyes and propping his chin on his hands, elbows planted on his crossed legs.

 

Obi-Wan blinked, taking in the sight of Anakin. He shone like a beacon in the Force, a blessing and a curse. It felt better to have him focusing on a silly question instead of his vengeful murder of Tusken Raiders, but all of the feelings were the same intensity. The bond between rarely held this much of a link between them, except when they were in battle together. Then, it was as if they became part of one warrior, able to sense each other’s movements before they occurred. They were a perfect team. Outside of battle, it wasn’t as smooth. 

 

Until now, in the middle of a Holonet quiz of all things. Anakin’s sleepshirt wasn’t revealing his bare skin anymore, but it had never covered his tan arms or his collarbone, which shouldn’t have been worth attention but yet it was. Obi-Wan had the sudden urge to turn off the light, in hopes of it extinguishing the growing flame in his stomach. 

 

“Friendship is reliability.”

 

Anakin cocked an eyebrow.

 

“You always know they’ll be there, even when it seems impossible. And it’s also about making each other laugh, forgetting the troubles.” He paused, trying to come up with things that would apply to someone other than Anakin. “Friendship is a series of kind gestures that never end, because you never want it to. You give and you take freely because you know the other person will do the same.”

 

Obi-Wan smiled at Anakin, despite his mind telling him to rein it in. “Friendship is being unable to stay mad at the other person. It’s a weakness and a strength intertwined.”

 

“Well said,” Anakin commented, straightening. Obi-Wan attempted to hand him the datapad and Anakin shook his head, patting the space beside him. “Why don’t you just sit up here instead at the end of the karking bed and then we can both see it?”

 

Obi-Wan didn’t see why he shouldn’t, so he hopped up to move to the free side of the bed. Anakin reached a hand out, flicking his fingers and turning the lamp off. The room plunged into darkness and Obi-Wan was suddenly the only illuminated thing in the room, thanks to the blue-ish light of the datapad.

 

“This really is a sleepover, isn’t it? You’re crashing in my bed at the age of twenty-two.”

 

“I told you this was coming. Don’t act surprised.” Anakin rolled onto his side as Obi-Wan sat on the bed, leaning back to mimic the younger man’s previous position. “How many questions are left?”

 

“Sixteen.”

 

Anakin wiggled his eyebrows. “Love me yet?”

 

Obi-Wan just scoffed and swiped to the next question, ignoring the way Anakin’s face was a disparate mix of his typical teasing grin and eyes that searched for a real answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it, more questions answered by the two cutest people in the gffa. The next set will have a question that a few of you have been asking about delving into, so look forward to that! (And take a peek at what it is by going to the link in the first chapter to the list I've been using for this story.) Let me know what you thought of their answers and things you'd like to see next. I have a list of what people ask for and try to incorporate the suggestions when I can! I'm open to any sort of inspiration that comes my way.
> 
> As always, a shoutout to [theunethicalscientist](https://theunethicalscientist.tumblr.com/) for looking over my chapters during the middle of a work day and encouraging me to write!


	21. Roles of Love and Affection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back at it again with an update! What can I say? I'm a bit inspired by the amount of love between these two and I just want them to get TOGETHER ALREADY.
> 
> Enjoy :D

**What roles do love and affection play in your life?**

The two men looked at each other with mortified faces, Obi-Wan scratching at his beard and Anakin running a hand through his hair.

“Good thing I told you about Padme.” Anakin chuckled to hide his discomfort. Love, for a Jedi at least, was supposed to be a compassion for all life forms. Affection was best saved for showing friendship, but nothing beyond that. Anakin hated to think of how many times he had crossed the unspoken line, allowing his heart to take over. “This could have been even more awkward.”

“They did say it was supposed to make you feel vulnerable,” Obi-Wan noted.

“I don’t think they expected Jedi Knights to take their stupid quiz,” Anakin said, turning away from Obi-Wan’s gaze. It was dark and it should have made it easier for them to be next to each other, but Anakin could feel a tension between them when they locked eyes. At the moment, it made him want to pitch himself over the side of the bed and onto the carpeted floor so he’d have a chance to breathe again.

“I guess I’ll start,” he heard Obi-Wan say. Anakin was busy staring at the ceiling, willing his flushed cheeks to calm the hell down.

“Love is the driving force of the Jedi Order. We want what is best for the galaxy and its beings, so we lay down our lives for them. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.”

Anakin momentarily forgot to be embarrassed because he was too busy rolling his eyes. “You’re full of bantha crap, Obi-Wan. They’re talking about you, personally. What about Satine?”

“I mean, when I was younger, of course I had times where I felt drawn to one person. But those feelings aren’t appropriate to act upon, so I tried to avoid putting myself in situations where I’d feel compelled to-” Obi-Wan paused because Anakin was looking at him with a raised eyebrow and a shit-eating grin. “What, Anakin?”

“You ‘tried’?”

“Yes. I didn’t have the best control when I was younger, much like you, I’d imagine,” he retorted, wiping the grin off Anakin’s face.

“Tell me more,” Anakin pouted. “This question won’t be fun if you don’t share.”

“I feel very uncomfortable divulging this information,” Obi-Wan admitted, hands fidgeting in his lap. “Since I’ve been your master, I’ve become used to keeping my ‘weaknesses’ to myself.”  
  
“It’s not a crime to think someone is attractive.”

“No, it’s not. When we were Padawans, I thought Quinlan Vos was quite attractive. But then I became aware of his attitude, which was very off-putting.”

“You and Vos?” Anakin squawked, unable to imagine them more than five feet closer to each other. Obi-Wan always seemed to exude disdain around the free-spirited man. But he hadn’t heard of Obi-Wan being romantically involved with another man before, and this revelation has his stomach churning with jealousy and a large amount of hope. _Hope of what?_ He mocked himself in his thoughts. _Hope that he might find you attractive?_ Anakin tried to dismiss the butterfly feeling inside him, but it wasn’t working.

“The first person I ever fell in love with was a girl named Cerasi.”

“You haven’t mentioned her before,” Anakin said.

“We met during a mission on Melida/Daan. I decided to stay and fight with her group and she was killed in the aftermath of their civil war.”

“I’m sorry, Master.”

“It’s fine now, Anakin. I had to make peace with her death a long time ago,” Obi-Wan spoke with resignation before clearing his throat. “Then there was the time I spent with Satine, which led to the painful decision to go our separate ways.”

“You loved her more than I thought you were capable of, my old master,” Anakin smiled. “You said you’d have left the Order for her!”

“And if I had, we would not be here right now. I had my duty and she had hers. The way I felt about her came second to that.” Obi-Wan spoke carefully, but a bitter tone seeped into his words. “I guess you could say that love plays a secondary role in my life, the first being my duty to the Order. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t play a role at all, as I’ve probably led you to think.”

“You flirt with Ventress too often for me to think that.”.

“Anakin.” His name was an exasperated sound, but he could tell that Obi-Wan was warming up to the discussion. “I almost left the Order with you back when you were twelve, you know. When you wanted to quit your training so suddenly, it was a shock to me. And I really don’t know why I was going to follow my stubborn Padawan out into the galaxy, shirking all of my other responsibilities just to make sure you didn’t blow yourself up.” Obi-Wan teased. “But I was ready.”

“It was because you love me,” Anakin said, elbowing Obi-Wan in the ribcage gently.

“Clearly,” Obi-Wan scoffed. “And I’m not big on affection, you know this. I think it’s your turn to talk.”

“First, that’s a lie. You're affectionate. You just pretend you're not. Second, this is a really tough question because I keep thinking you’re going to expel me from the Order and you don’t, but then an even worse question comes up and makes me admit things you shouldn’t hear.”

“What do you mean?” Obi-Wan sounded concerned. “How is talking about love worse than what you told me a few minutes ago?”

Anakin took a deep breath and prepared himself. “Love is the driving force for everything I do. I want to protect the people I care about, like Padme, Captain Rex, Ahsoka -” he breaks off for a moment - “and you. The reason the Order needs me out on the battlefield is because I’m a ruthless killing machine and willing to sacrifice everything to save one more life. It’s because I love too deeply, the fear of losing my men, my wife, my master - it’s too terrible for me to contain. I have to do something about it, which translates to the whole ‘thinking with my lightsaber’ sort of thing.”

Obi-Wan had that look on his face, the one where he started feeling compassionate and wanting to reach out and put a hand on Anakin’s shoulder. It just reminded him of the other part of the question.

“And affection, oh, Master - you have no idea.”

“I think I do.” The response had Anakin swallowing nervously. “I raised you for ten years and trained you in the ways of the Jedi. Do you think I wouldn’t notice what motivates you?”

Now his cheeks were red again. He hoped Obi-Wan wouldn’t notice in the dark. Kriff, his face felt like it was on fire.

“And you do this -” Obi-Wan reached out and placed a hand to Anakin’s face, cupping his jaw and letting his thumb brush over the flushed skin - “Why are you so embarrassed?”

“You weren’t supposed to notice that,” he mumbled, averting his eyes. “And Jedi don’t crave physical affection, Obi-Wan. Nobody ever gives someone a damn hug when they need it.”

Obi-Wan’s hand fell away, but it landed on his shoulder. The bond between them was practically glittering with amusement and Anakin wanted to rip it apart with how much it made his stomach flip.

“I’ve given you multiple hugs this evening, don’t sell me short.”

Anakin ignored him still, looking at the plain sheets and the dark ripples where they creased from the two bodies sitting on them. Obi-Wan’s voice took on a solemn tone.

“It’s been difficult lately. We seem to only be close like this when we’re in the middle of a swarm of battle droids, not when we’re home on Coruscant.”

Anakin finally met his gaze reluctantly. “I didn’t want to bother you, Master. I just go over to Padme’s place and spend time with her. She doesn’t mind giving me that kind of attention, being my wife and all,” Anakin shrugged. “Do you miss me?”

“Sometimes,” Obi-Wan spoke softly. “When you’re not being a cheeky brat.”

“Hey!”

“It’s a very rare occurrence, I might add.”


	22. Five Positive Characteristics

**Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.**

 

Their shoulders touched as they leaned toward each other and read the next question on the datapad screen.

“Five things,” Obi-Wan murmured, stroking his beard. “Shouldn’t be very difficult. I’ve already expressed my gratitude and appreciation for you during previous questions.”

 

“Should we make it more difficult? This is supposed to be for strangers,” Anakin pointed out.

 

Obi-Wan took a moment to think, but then shook his head. “No,” he decided. “Let’s keep it simple. Anything positive should be fine.” He smiled at Anakin and it made Anakin’s blush from the previous question return with a vengeance. _Why does he have to look at me this way?_ “I’ll go first.”

 

“Be my guest,” Anakin responded, nervous at Obi-Wan’s willingness to compliment him. Was there a possibility that he wasn’t imagining the way their bond tugged at him and pleaded him to weave more threads of attachment between them? Was it maybe...Obi-Wan reciprocating the feelings Anakin was so desperate to hide?

 

“You’re the best person to have around while traveling.”

 

The answer was so lackluster compared to what Anakin expected that he found himself raising an eyebrow. _That can’t be all, can it?_

 

“That time our hyperdrive motivator fried out in the middle of Dantooine space, I thought we’d be stuck putting around with the sublight engines until we could find a planet with the right pieces, but you managed to construct this replacement, which I still don’t know how you did by the way,” he pointed at Anakin, but continued his story. “And we got all the way back to Coruscant before it melted! You’re quite the mechanical genius, Anakin.”

 

He had counted on being underwhelmed to calm the heat in his cheeks. Turned out he was in for a night filled with embarrassment and flattery, much to his chagrin. “Thanks, Master.”

 

“The Council was amazed at your ingenuity,” Obi-Wan mused.

 

“You told them?”

 

“Of course. It’s standard to report to the Council on everything that occurred during the mission, is it not?” Obi-Wan asked with a wink.

 

“You were bragging,” Anakin gasped. “Obi-Wan Kenobi, the most humble man in the galaxy was bragging about me.”

 

“Master Windu was extremely prickly that day, for whatever reason. I was simply instilling some confidence about your skills.”

 

“Well thanks,” Anakin said, smiling. It made the doubts sitting deep in the back of his mind start to fade, just a bit. Often, he worried that Obi-Wan was disappointed in him or too passive toward the Council. To hear that even long before the time they’d spent this evening opening up to one another, Obi-Wan was still on his side, made Anakin release the tension he didn’t know he’d been holding. Maybe that was why he was so embarrassed by the compliments; he didn’t believe anyone was telling the truth, that he was actually good enough.

 

“My turn then.”

 

Obi-Wan nodded, his lips curved into a soft smile Anakin could barely see in the darkness, but felt in their bond.

 

“You have great hair.”

 

He hadn’t meant for that to be his first answer, but there it was, out in the open. Obi-Wan just laughed softly, running a hand through said hair. The perfectly combed pieces in the front had started to loosen from their positions, falling down across his brow. It was the slight dishevelment that really got Anakin worked up. When they were in the midst of a sparring session and the hair broke free, he knew it was all over for him. He was so distracted by those damn ginger locks and always had been. When he was a Padawan and Obi-Wan still had longer hair, he had admired it when he thought Obi-Wan wasn’t watching - had wanted to reach out and touch it - but restrained himself from doing anything stupid.

Now, it was getting really hard not to find out what it felt like to have his fingers run through the man’s soft hair.

 

“So I’ve been told,” Obi-Wan responded to his compliment. “Although I try to keep it combed back and professional-looking since I joined the Council. I miss the longer hair sometimes.” He turned to look at Anakin, whose hair was almost touching his shoulders at this point. “Seems like you’ve stolen my look.”

 

“Yeah,” Anakin said. “I’ve always copied your hairstyles.” He hoped his eyes weren’t reflecting the way he yearned to touch. Obi-Wan was so close, it wouldn’t even be a struggle to just reach out and -

 

“These pieces in the front, though. They always get on my nerves,” Obi-Wan said, trying to brush them away from his eyes. “I wish they’d stay put but at the end of the day, they get a little unruly.” The movements were futile, and as Obi-Wan’s hand pulled away from his hair, one of the front pieces broke free and returned to the middle of his forehead. Obi-Wan just sighed.

 

“Really?” Anakin was shocked that his favorite thing was what his master disliked the most. “I kind of like it when it’s messy,” he admitted shyly.

 

“You do?” The two men just looked at each other and Anakin could feel his heart start to beat faster than necessary. “Well I’ve ruined it now,” Obi-Wan said with a laugh, crossing his eyes a bit to look at the one piece still hanging out of place. He ran a hand through his hair one more time, breaking the other pieces free with a quick ruffle. “Better?”

 

He looked so soft, so much like the man he was and less like the perfect stoic Jedi. Anakin clenched his left hand and willed himself to release the tension in his body. “Yeah,” he answered. “Better. Next positive thing?”

 

“You are incredibly strong. I’ve never seen someone capable of the things you can do,” Obi-Wan said, his voice deep with a conviction he often got when he didn’t want Anakin to dismiss him.

 

“So are you,” Anakin replied.

 

“Not as strong as you in the slightest. The Force glows around you and responds to your will with an intensity like nothing else. It’s incredible.”

 

“I don’t know if you know this, Master, but you also glow like that.” Anakin could tell Obi-Wan wasn’t buying it, although he was telling the truth. Ahsoka had always commented on Obi-Wan’s light in the Force. Anakin knew he wasn’t the only one who felt it. “It’s like sunshine.”

 

_Kriff, that was corny._

 

“So we’re both strong. Okay, that’s two,” Obi-Wan pushed to move on. “You are relentless. Nothing can stop you from your goal.”

 

“That’s not always good,” Anakin chuckled. “It gets me into trouble.”

 

“But it means you never give up, even when others would. You have saved many lives by being persistent. I would consider it a good trait.”

 

“You’re compassionate. You are kind when people don’t deserve it and you constantly overextend yourself to bring peace to the people around you.”

 

Obi-Wan didn’t respond to that one, but the slight twinge of pain in the Force said everything Anakin needed to know. There was a price for the empathy Obi-Wan practiced. He felt the pain and sorrow of all the beings they met in the war. His heart broke a little more each time they couldn’t save innocent lives. Anakin understood this and leaned into Obi-Wan’s side a little more, increasing the amount of contact between them.

 

“You are an admirable leader. You treat your clones with respect and they would gladly follow you to the edges of the galaxy because they trust you. And you treat your droids the same way. Beings that others would overlook, you pay attention to.”

 

“Every clone is different. I don’t know how people could treat like them like anything less than the humans they are. I mean, even their laughs are different.” Anakin gestured with his hand, scoffing at the disregard some people had for his men.

 

“I know. I feel the same way as you, about the clones at least. Still working on a rapport with the astromechs.” Obi-Wan laughed softly and patted the arm that Anakin had resting beside his own. “Not all of them are as creative as R2-D2.”

 

“He’s always been quite the deviant,” Anakin said, thinking of the blue astromech with fondness. The droid had saved his life more times than he’d like to admit. “You’re good with kids,” Anakin pointed out. “The younglings always love you and there was even that Twi’lek child that grew quite attached to you.”

 

“She seemed to like Waxer and Boil a lot more than me,” Obi-Wan commented. “But yes, I think I can handle the little ones quite well. I had a lot of practice,” he said, looking at Anakin with a knowing grin.

 

“Even before that though. You didn’t really want Master Qui-Gon to train me, but you protected me and kept an eye on me anyway.”

 

“We were in the middle of a crisis on Naboo, Anakin. It’s not like I could just leave you to wander around by yourself! We left you for fifteen minutes to fight a Sith Lord and you managed to fly to space and destroy an entire droid command ship. You were a handful,” Obi-Wan ran a hand down his face. “You see, this is why a normal youngling is a piece of cake. None of them could come close to the hijinks you roped me into.”

 

“Sorry, Master,” Anakin apologized, but laughed to himself. “Last one.”

 

“You always remember my favorite drinks.”

 

“I do, don’t I?” Anakin bumped his foot against Obi-Wan’s, brushing their ankles against each other in a manner that he hoped was casual. “I’ve known you a long time. Can’t help picking up on these things.” Obi-Wan didn’t shy away from his touch and Anakin noted it with pleasure. It gave him a burst of confidence he surely didn’t need. “You’re comforting. Even if we’re just sitting next to each other like this, I feel safe.”

 

“Do you usually feel…” Obi-Wan’s voice dropped off and he looked at Anakin with furrowed brows. “Unsafe?”

 

“Eh,” Anakin attempted to brush it off. “Occasionally. But it’s just from the war, I think. Always having to watch our backs and stuff.”

 

“I understand.” Obi-Wan nodded and returned his gaze to the datapad. “Next question, then?”


	23. Family Feelings

**How close and warm is your family?**

 

_ Pretty warm _ , Obi-Wan thought to himself as he glanced at Anakin’s body. Anakin was practically pressed up against him at all possible points of contact, his foot absently moving against Obi-Wan’s leg from time to time. It was as if he was asking for something.  _ For more contact maybe? _

 

Anakin looked up at him with a sour look on his face and Obi-Wan’s attention quickly turned back to the question. The amount of questions about family were just painful, and Obi-Wan knew that wasn’t the intention. Most people still had at least one of their parents around and they played an integral role in a child’s development into their early adult years. The two of them weren’t most people.

 

“Used to be really close,” Anakin mumbled, his shoulders tensing up. “Now it’s just a bunch of Jedi that aren’t supposed to care about each other.”

 

Obi-Wan winced at the words. He had hoped that Anakin was coming to understand the way he cared for him. It was more love than he dared share with anyone else. 

 

“At least I have Padme. We’re pretty close after everything we went through, and having to keep it a secret from everyone.” Anakin slowly relaxed again at the thought of his wife and Obi-Wan wondered if Padme was doing more good for Anakin than he initially realized. Amid the constant turmoil of their lives, she was keeping him steady and loved. 

 

It wasn’t enough, clearly. Anakin still held some resentment toward the Order when he should have felt like they were one giant family, the way Obi-Wan felt. How could he make Anakin understand?

 

Anakin’s body was tilting to one side, curling in toward Obi-Wan, although not pushing any further. The datapad was resting on Obi-Wan’s hip, tilted toward Anakin so he could see. They were supposed to be sharing; at least that had been the purpose of him moving to sit beside Anakin in the first place. A foot brushed against his leg again.

 

“Padme actually told me once that she wanted to make our family,” Anakin paused, picking at the hem of his shirt. “Bigger?” It was a question, and Obi-Wan was confused.

 

“What do you mean? Like children?” Obi-Wan hoped to the Force that Anakin wasn’t planning on having secret children with the Senator.

 

“Well, I mean eventually she’d probably like that, but not right now,” Anakin shook his head and Obi-Wan sighed in relief. “Too much going on in the Senate. What I meant was that she felt like we could benefit from another person joining our relationship.”

 

Obi-Wan didn’t feel like that explained anything. “Oh?”

 

“Apparently it’s quite common on Naboo. And I’m a handful,” Anakin admitted with embarrassment. “She told me her sister is currently in a relationship with another woman, as well as her husband. I thought it was kind of weird at first. I never saw anything like that on Tatooine,” Anakin explained, shaking his head. “At least that was consensual.”

 

“But I went to visit them while we were on leave, and they all seemed really happy. They supported each other and you could feel that they all loved each other. It was different, but I liked it.”

 

Obi-Wan had heard of polyamorous relationships before, but had never known anyone who was in one. The more he thought about it, the more he began to agree with Padme’s suggestion. Anakin loved deeply, that much was obvious. But he required support from more than just one person. He often reached out to whomever he could find, whether it be Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, or Chancellor Palpatine for the validation he needed. The last part made him cringe inside.

 

It might fulfill a part of Anakin that was constantly searching to have someone else like Padme in his life. “I think it might be good for you,” Obi-Wan said with a soft smile. “Padme knows you well.”

 

“Yeah,” Anakin agreed, unable to keep the affection out of his voice. “She’s willing to make that kind of thing work just for me. I don’t know what I did to deserve her.”

 

“May I ask,” Obi-Wan caught Anakin’s eye. “How you plan on finding someone to be a part of this relationship you have if it’s a secret?”

 

“We might just have to wait until the war is over,” Anakin said with a shrug. “The last thing Padme needs is a scandal about her secret marriage to a Jedi all over the Holonet. Meeting people and finding out if they’d be a good fit is going to be a nightmare. It’ll probably just be the two of us unless some sort of miracle happens.” Anakin seemed a little defeated, although he was trying to keep a smile on his face. “What about you?”

 

“Me?” Obi-Wan swallowed roughly, unsure what Anakin was implying. _Does he mean if I would join them?_

 

“Yeah. How do you feel about your Jedi family?”

 

It felt like being released from a chokehold as Anakin’s words hit him. He had forgotten about the quiz question. The idea of being in a room with Anakin and Padme, perhaps drinking wine and chatting together while at dinner, had taken over his mind and left him...wanting?

 

It was a weird feeling he chose to banish to the darkest parts of his mind.

 

“Yes, right. The Jedi have always been warm to me. It’s a family of thousands, all there to support you. There is always wisdom to share, guidance to have, and a person to meditate with if you need it. Yoda has always had a soft spot for me though,” Obi-Wan says, turning his attention away from the fading images of looking at Anakin across a dark wood dining table, watching him take sips of his drink and laugh loudly at Padme’s rants about useless Senators from the day’s proceedings. His heart twisted. “It has been painful to feel so many of them pass during our war with the Separatists.”

 

Anakin hummed in agreement and pushed a wave of comfort into their bond. His foot was doing that thing again, just barely touching Obi-Wan’s skin and leaving it tingling. _Why is he doing that?_ And why did it feel so different from a brief touch of hands as they passed bacta patches to each other? Or the firm press of a hand on his shoulder to tell Anakin to calm down?

 

It dawned on him suddenly and it had him wondering if there was something more to this Holonet quiz.  _ He’s waiting for an invitation. _ Something in the pit of his stomach warmed and he made an adjustment to his position, pulling the datapad to the center of his lap and lifting his left arm from between their bodies to rest on the stack of pillows behind Anakin’s back. It left him open and Obi-Wan felt briefly nervous. They didn’t usually do this, not unless Anakin accidentally fell asleep on the couch during a late night of watching holodramas or if one of them woke up screaming in the middle of the night, cursed with seeing their men die over and over again.

 

“Next question?” He asked, looking at Anakin with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Sure,” Anakin answered, and leaned over to the look at the screen, shifting on the bed to get closer. Obi-Wan couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face as Anakin leaned into his space and pressed against his chest. Obi-Wan risked resting his left hand on Anakin’s shoulder and felt him take a quick breath, but soon Anakin was melting into the embrace, albeit without making eye contact. His ears were red again.

 

Obi-Wan was glad Anakin wasn’t looking up to see the absolute mortification he felt at not only inviting this affection, but desiring it for himself. He was well out of his league now.


	24. Mothers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back from the dead??
> 
> And by dead, I mean working on a Ph.D. 
> 
> A miracle occurred in which I had enough time to write some new short chapters for this lovely story. I want to thank everyone that has supported this fic so far, especially those who left comments while I was away. Things have been really hard for me the past couple months but your eager messages awaiting more chapters brought me back here, hoping to give this story the ending it deserves no matter what. I hope you will continue to stick with me. I love you guys!

**How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?**

 

Anakin felt Obi-Wan’s arm stiffen around his shoulders. His old master was expecting resistance, fearing the strength of Anakin’s emotions—no, fearing that Anakin would feel pain. He knew that now. They were ever-connected, through their past, their missions, their Force-bond. To think that he had lived so many years of his life with the assumption that Obi-Wan didn’t care about his feelings. The comforting warmth beside him spoke otherwise, grounding him to the present in a way only Obi-Wan could. 

It kept his mind from being torn apart as the question sank in, the word “mother” echoing as if it was bouncing around his skull. How could he begin to explain his relationship with his mother? It had been hard enough to speak of it earlier, to come clean about the unbridled rage that poured from him after her passing. Despair gnawed at him. Anakin pressed closer to Obi-Wan’s side. 

“You’ve said enough, Anakin. This question is for strangers.” Obi-Wan didn’t want to mention it, Anakin noted. He was giving Anakin a free pass. It was as if a hole in his chest began to shrink, the relief flooding his body. 

 

He felt so much, so often. It exhausted him. 

 

Anakin let out a soft sigh and nodded slowly. “I think your answer is clear as well. Let’s move on.”

 

Obi-Wan paused, looking into Anakin’s eyes as if he was searching. Anakin had to admit - be it to himself - that he sometimes wondered if Obi-Wan wished he knew his birth parents, or anything about his home planet. Was now the time to ask? Was that why he was hesitant to move on?

 

“Anakin, are you okay?” The voice brought Anakin out of his thoughts. Obi-Wan’s hand was pulling away from its place on Anakin’s left shoulder and Anakin’s stomach gave a flip of anxiety. 

 

_He can’t leave so soon, not now._

 

_ I need him. _

 

He brought a hand up to stop Obi-Wan’s arm from slipping away. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s not easy to keep my mind from going to dark places sometimes, but-” he paused, biting his lip- “being close to you helps.”

 

“Oh.”

 

They stared at each other for seconds that felt like hours, in a transition state where Obi-Wan could make the choice to pull away. It was the Jedi way, after all.

 

Obi-Wan settled back into place and Anakin felt his lungs exhale a breath he hadn’t known he was holding. 

 

“I know in the past, I haven’t asked you directly about how you are feeling,” Obi-Wan started. Anakin just leaned into the embrace, letting his head fall back to rest on Obi-Wan’s arm. “But I hope that all of these questions have made it clear that I won’t be so distant anymore.”

 

“You’re fine, Obi-Wan,” Anakin huffed, admiring the flush on the older man’s cheeks. “Everything is just fine.”


	25. "We" Statements

**Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling…**

 

“At least we don’t have to guess,” Anakin chuckled, scratching his head. “The Force makes it pretty easy to know if we’re feeling the same things.”

Obi-Wan blinked, taking time to let the comment sink in. Was it true that the Force-bond between them was always clear? He tended to disagree. To him, it felt like their bond was a thick cord strung between their souls, woven with so many threads over time that it was hard to distinguish a particular vein. The human mind was so messy, a knot of thoughts, hopes, desires, and fears. It was easy to feel a wave of emotion from the Force, but to understand the nuance of Anakin’s mind, Obi-Wan knew he would have to sink deep into a meditation. 

“I’m afraid your opinion might be the result of your unnatural midichlorian levels. Our bond feels-“ Obi-Wan paused before settling on satisfactory words, “-complicated to me.” 

“Really?” Anakin asked, furrowing his brow. “I’ll go first then, I guess. It’ll give you some time to think.”

Anakin had the audacity to wink at him before straightening his spine and closing his eyes. He took a deep breath, shoulders raising slightly with his inhale.

“We are both embarrassed.”

“You didn’t need to close your eyes to figure that out,” Obi-Wan scoffed, leaning forward. “Want to give me a ‘we’ statement that Ahsoka couldn’t have come up with just by looking at us for two seconds?”

“That’s more difficult than you think,” Anakin said with a smirk. “She was always so good at finding the quickest way to get under our skin.”

“I blame you,” Obi-Wan teased. “You were her teacher.”

Anakin let out a breath of a laugh before settling on a different answer.

 

“We both felt lonely tonight, before all of this. There are pieces of it, almost like shadows. It could just be me, I’m not sure.” Anakin’s eyes fluttered open and he turned to look at Obi-Wan with a tight frown. It was almost as if Anakin was hoping he was right, that he was the only one that suffered.

“That is true, I’m afraid. The Jedi way is often solitary, even when surrounded by others.”

“You do one,” Anakin suggested. His eyes flickered down to look at Obi-Wan’s hands, now clasped in his lap. 

He didn’t know which feeling to focus on. It was too simple to pick up on the comfort of being in a friend’s company late at night, or the warm flush of a drink dulling the concerns that troubled them during the day. Obi-Wan reached deeper into his mind, tugging at their bond. Anakin’s eyes met his in response to the invisible pull, widening slightly as he felt Obi-Wan latch onto one of the threads.

“We missed each other.”

Obi-Wan hit a wall of silence and his stomach twisted, but the words came out of his mouth regardless.

“It was more than the feeling of not seeing a friend for a long time. It was an emptiness — is an emptiness — that continues to be filled as we sit here.”

“You seem to be deciphering the mysteries of our bond pretty well to me,” Anakin said, words rasping as if he’d been punched in the gut. “Want to go for two?”

“We are perhaps the only two Jedi to sit in the dark together in our sleepclothes, taking a Holonet quiz about falling in love.”

That comment pulled a soft laugh from Anakin, which unwound the twist in Obi-Wan’s stomach. 

“It’s utterly ridiculous what we’re doing right now.”

“You love it,” Anakin laughed again, poking Obi-Wan’s knee. “Don’t lie. Plus, I doubt we’re the only ones. Padawans get up to no good on a daily basis and this is just the sort of thing they’d convince each other to do.”

“Are you speaking from experience, Anakin?”

“No way,” Anakin huffed through his nose but turned away from Obi-Wan’s gaze, which amused him to no end.

“Shall I do one more?”

“Go ahead, my humorous master,” he said, tucking his knees up to his chest and slinging his arms around them. 

“We’ve only survived this long because we have each other.”

“That’s the truth right there.”

“Glad to see it pleases you, Anakin.” Obi-Wan leaned back against the pillows once more, giving the place beside him a pat. “Although I could do without the dashing head-first into danger on our next mission. I’m an old man, you know.”

Anakin didn’t return to his position beside Obi-Wan, instead staying tucked into himself, chin resting on his knees and arms clamped around his legs. Obi-Wan could feel the way the younger man fiddled with the bond between them, picking at interwoven strands. He opened his mouth to ask if Anakin had one last statement to share, but as he did, Anakin plucked at a feeling between them that normally stayed buried. Obi-Wan’s heart was suddenly in his throat against his will, threatening to choke him. 

_ He knows, _ his mind screamed. 

But he only focused on the attachment on his end of the bond, ignoring the way it extended to reach Anakin’s heart as well.

Neither of them said anything, then Anakin picked up the datapad and swiped the prompt away.


	26. Complete This Sentence...

**Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”**

 

“My love of tea.” 

 

“My love of fast-paced speeder chases.”

 

“Touché,” Obi-Wan said, hoping it would dispel the tension between them.

 

It didn’t work.


	27. Becoming a Close Friend

**If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.**

 

“I feel like we were playing along quite well up until now,” Obi-Wan said with an unamused swipe at the datapad. “But these just seem silly now. We are already close friends, generals in war, former master and padawan. What is there to know?”

 

“Obi-Wan, give it a chance. If you were answering with the intention of getting to know a stranger, potentially in a romantic context, what would you say?”

 

“That they’d best take a walk because I’m a Jedi Knight sworn to make no attachments to others that would inhibit my ability to act with unbiased compassion.”

 

“You would not,” Anakin contradicted. “You would flirt with them and you know it.”

 

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan let out an exasperated sigh in the form of his name and Anakin found his lips curling into a smile despite the discomfort fluttering in their bond. He had picked at something he wasn’t supposed to see, clearly. It glittered in the back of his mind, refusing to be ignored completely. He swallowed it back again.

 

“Honestly, give me a better answer.”

 

“Fine.” 

 

Anakin raised an eyebrow.

 

“I would say, if you are going to become a close friend of mine, try to stay out of trouble, because I’m very inclined to come to your rescue at the slightest hint of danger and it could compromise the state of the Clone Wars if I abandon my post. Please don’t make me decide. I already have too many friends that do this to me on any given week.”

 

“You really are a mushy old man, aren’t you?” Anakin turned his head to rest his temple on his knees, looking back toward Obi-Wan over his right arm. His smile was hidden by his upper arm, but he could tell that he wasn’t fooling Obi-Wan.

 

“Most days, I would vehemently disagree. But today has been different. I have been known to sacrifice myself to save the ones I care about. That makes me mushy, doesn’t it?”

 

“Yes, very.”

 

“Your turn.”

 

“I’d probably start with the fact that anyone close to me is often used as bait to draw me into Separatist traps, so best not to be a close friend of mine at all.”

 

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan’s voice had turned soft with a mixture of disappointment and understanding.

 

“But if that doesn’t scare you away, you’re probably trained in self-defense and could hold your own in a fight, so we can bond over some Separatist ass-kicking.”

 

“How sweet of you.”

 

“I know, right?”

 

“Good to see that your flirting skills have improved since I last witnessed them.”

 

“Listen, I was nineteen and hadn’t seen Padme in ten years, give me a break!” Anakin tried to swat at Obi-Wan’s leg and felt his arm get intercepted mid-way through, gripped by Obi-Wan’s hand.

 

“Why don’t you come back?” Obi-Wan asked, glancing at the empty space beside him and the rumpled sheets where Anakin had been curled up a few moments ago. 

 

Anakin felt his heart threatening to beat straight out of his chest.  _ I can’t get too close _ , his mind screamed. It was matched by the way his skin almost burned where Obi-Wan was touching him. He had gone looking where he wasn’t supposed to and turned up with a desire that pooled deep in his gut. A single thread, pulled tight in the bond between them, felt like it could mask all the other feelings they shared. The closeness, the comfort of a friend, the vulnerability they had shared-- it was all drowned out by longing. It wasn’t just the curiosity of what running his hands through Obi-Wan’s hair would feel like. It wasn’t the simmering heat of alcohol in his stomach, whispering ideas of tasting those lips.

 

He wanted Obi-Wan and some part of Obi-Wan wanted him back. He had  _ felt  _ it.  _ Known _ it.

 

_ Why won’t he say anything?  _

 

The question had a weight to it; Anakin swore he could feel it on his chest. Their earlier discussion of Padme’s proposition to add another person came to his mind and suddenly it wasn’t a faceless being he imagined. It was Obi-Wan. 

 

It was always Obi-Wan.

 

Obi-Wan, with his hand still holding Anakin’s arm, looking slightly disappointed at Anakin’s disinterest in coming closer again. Obi-Wan, with his flushed cheeks and his glowing Force signature and Anakin’s whole heart in his hands without even knowing it.

 

_ He’ll never say anything. _

 

“Let’s just finish up this quiz,” Anakin sighed. His heart couldn’t take much more of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH my god shit is getting real you guys. It's the final tension before we get what we've been waiting for. Some of the chapters will be a little shorter since the questions don't apply as well to their situation. I try to make them work when I can but I also want the story to be paced well.
> 
> I'm impatient and I want them to fall in love, okay?


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